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Monday, January 31, 2011


Yesterday our Priest read part of Jesus' "Sermon on the Mount," you know the blessed part --- blessed are the peacemakers, mourners, meek, persecuted, etc.

It occurred to me while he was reading the list, that this described all of us at one time or another in our lives. We've been in all of those places, and in each & every one, we've been blessed.

Each place has been an opportunity for spiritual growth & depth. At each place, there was God holding us close. We were never alone. We were blessed with spiritual safety while we tried out how to be a spiritual being having a human experience.

In some of the more challenging places, we may have been flailling about, complaining, resisting & seemingly going in circles, perhaps lost in pain. But we eventually came to our senses & moved on, & we moved on with stronger faith in a closer walk with the Divine.

Personally I am currently walking through a couple of challenging experiences. I've done my share of crying, sure. I've asked God, "Why me, why now?" Nevertheless, I do know that all is in the hand of the Divine Love that created me & is with me always. I know that even the darkest valleys contain God's blessing energy. And I know God always leads me out of the valleys, & on the other side I am sincerely able to say "Thank You, God."

So, in advance of walking out of my current valleys, I say, "Thank You, God."

"Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, You are with me." The Psalmists have reassured me so often. You inspired them so many centuries ago with deep spiritual truths. Thank You, God. And thank You right now for being with me as I walk multiple valleys concurrently. You are with me. I know You are leading me forward, instructing me, making me stronger & more able to serve You in the world. I expectantly await the "green valleys" & the "cup running over," for I know You have already prepared the table. Thank You for giving me a blessed life. Amen

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Thank You...

Thank You, God, for inspiring people with amazing new ideas. Thank you to those who have listened & acted. Particularly today I want to give thanks all for the great scientific, particularly medical, breakthroughs that have benefited us all. Thank You God for inspiring great minds with great ideas. Thank you great men & women of medical science for paying attention.

I am sure I would not be here today without the benefit of medical science. If I had lived just one short century earlier or anytime earlier than that, I would not have lived to the age I am now. From my tonsillectomy at age 3 to my almost gangrene gallbladder to my major back surgery to the flu & various & sundry other health challenges, I am indebted to modern medical science & God's inspiration in the great minds of science.

So now I apparently face another medical obstacle, Guillain-Barré syndrome. Medical science doesn't have a lot to say about it. No one is certain why one gets it nor how to get rid of it. If I get worse & lose all reflexes in my knees & elbows, they can do some sort of plasma exchange that can be helpful. Otherwise, I just guess I'm to stick it out. They say that sometimes it just disappears as mysteriously as it came. Sometimes it goes slowly. Sometimes it is gone & sometimes it is partially present forever. Sometimes it comes back.

The nerve pain pills take the edge off, but my hands are still incredibly sensitive & burning on the fingertips, plus the pills make me a bit groggy. My feet & halfway to my knees are numb. It is constant, no reprieve. It is challenging to say the least. I know there is a blessing in here somewhere. Show me the way. Show me the blessing, please God.

Hear my prayer dear God. Inspire my doctors, inspire me, tell us what to do to end this agony. You alone know what to do. Help me hear Your guidance. I listen. I await. Thank You, God. Amen

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Facing Life's Challenges

I finally got in to see a neurologist yesterday. After long nerve conduction tests & other tests, he is sure I have a variant of GBS. I don't recall even hearing those initials in relation to health until yesterday.

He wants me back Tuesday & then probably Friday for a spinal tap. If it moves more to my throat or lungs, I am to go to emergency.

So, of course, I've been Googling GBS & discovering more about it. It is rare & most recover fully or partially. If it goes to the lungs, death is more likely.

Another challenge in my Job kind of life. I shall face it the way I have the others. I will talk with God, I will do all I can on my own to recover, I will continue to do as much of my normal life as I can, I will walk as peacefully as possible knowing if God has more for me to do, I shall recover. If I am done here, I will move on to the next life. I think I have more to do, but only God knows for sure.

Dear God, I come to You today for guidance &, if it is Your will, for healing. This body, this spacesuit for my soul, is malfunctioning. Please shine Your healing Light on me. Please inspire me with Your guidance so that I know what to do that is in harmony with You. And, please inspire the doctors to know how to help my body be restored. I ask this in the name of Christ & seal this prayer with the ancient seal of faith, Amen, Amen & Amen

Monday, January 3, 2011

New Year Again

It seems to me that 2010 went by with great speed. I know time, & everything else, is relative to the reference point. With my advancing years, I have a larger reference point & one year is a smaller portion of that reference point so would naturally seem less. Yet, even knowing that it still seems that 2010 was extra fast. I have heard younger people say the same.

The turning point is arbitrary. That is we could have chosen any place to say it is the new year, but January 1st got the nod.

At any rate 2011 is here. What does that mean to us? It is the opportunity to feel that we are getting a fresh new start, a chance to live a bit better or maybe a lot better. It is a time to think deeply about how we would like to be & how we would like this year to be. It is a time to sort out our priorities & re-aim our lives toward new targets.

My life target has been for spiritual understanding, deeper communion with God, & enlightenment. That shall always be my primary target, & of course I reaffirm it for 2011. I also aim toward the best health possible, family healing, learning new art & quilting techniques, my trip to Russia 20 years after my first trip & I think it is also my 20th trip there, more travel & experiencing & being at the places I've always wanted to see such as Ireland, etc. I support my husband as he aims toward greater income.

I have other targets that I'd like to reach. I hope, dream & pray that at least some of my books that I've written over the years, most of them for my work in Russia, could get published in English & in bookstores all over America. I hope, dream & pray that the coarseness of our culture could be reversed & a resurgence of spirituality would emerge. I hope, dream & pray for peace in each heart & therefore in the world. I realize that angry, greedy, power-driven people do not want nor are capable of creating peace. So I hope, dream & pray for that healing of each human heart that is needed first.

I ask you, what are your targets? For what do you hope, dream & pray. This is a great time to ponder such things.

Father, we come to You this day with a new openness in our depths. We are open for You to inspire within us greater targets toward which You would want us to aim our lives. We begin anew in this new year. We wish to begin as You would want us to begin. Speak in our hearts. Whisper to our souls. We listen. Thank You, dear God. We let go & await Your working in our lives. In the name of Christ we seal this prayer with Amen.