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Thursday, January 26, 2017

An Odd Morning

This morning, waking up, yet between here and somewhere, not totally awake to this day -- I had experiences and thoughts flowing past that were unusual for me.

  • My life has been bizarre, it seemed to me. So many strange things have happened. Some of them floated by for me to see again.
  • Well, so has everyone else had many strange experiences, at least according to stories they have told. This earth has been, and is, a place of contradictions and spiritual insight stretched very thin.
  • How do I know something is bizarre, strange, not quite right? How do I measure? What do I have to measure it against in order to judge it so?
  • Flashes - vague memories of somewhere, another place or dimension, where life is NOT bizarre.
  • Realization that a lot of my life has been lived in an observer position where I see patterns - patterns of behavior, of choices, of societies, of individuals. I know more from such observations than others seem to know who do not see patterns.
  • There is a place that is sane. Great spiritual lights have spoken of it. Jesus said the kingdom is here and we must look within. Others talk of the "next" place we shall go, or the place from which we came before we came to earth.
  • I saw myself pregnant. Since I am too old for that to be literal, I realized that I am to birth something - ideas, writings. I saw that the physical things I create are temporary and perish easily, while ideas can go on and on, especially with the internet and the "experts" saying nothing can actually be erased from it. Then there is the collective unconscious that houses all thoughts through all time, and that cannot be destroyed as far as we know.
  • It was as if an opaque glass cracked and I saw through the cracks to another kind of life. The lens of life being so violent/bizarre/self-destructive through which many peer into this earthly experience needs to crack and then fall.
  • Something new is about to "pop" forward.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Flashes Leading Forward

Lately, I've been experiencing flashes of vignettes of past moments in my life. Seemingly out of nowhere, not related to what is in the present moment, but part of my life experience - I see and hear and feel a moment that once was.

One way to look at this is that each moment is woven into the fabric of our lives and participates in creating the tapestry of who we currently are. This event taught how to appreciate what is likely a fleeting thing; that event taught how sadness is lived through; another taught how humor became a strong underpinning; all of them led to another step on the spiritual quest that is life on earth.

This day we all add threads to the tapestry of our lives. The thread weaves a subtle pattern that goes on with us, is part of us, informs us, leads us onward. It reinforces what we know and leads us to a place to know more. It is part of who we are.

I think if we want to be more on the side of Light, we must become conscious of the threads we add to our being. Do we want to add angry threads, really? Do we want to add greedy threads, really? Do we want to add entangled threads of judgment and chaos, really? Or is it time to stop adding these to the tapestry of our lives?

How do we switch to threads of peace, generosity, forgiveness and faith? First become aware and stop ourselves when we start to weave into our eternal soul something less than holy, less than Light. Then think something like -- "I am in the Presence of the Divine. How do I speak and act in this holy moment? I stand on holy ground, ground created by The Creator. I stand in a body created by the Creator. I am a spiritual person having a human experience and am expected to remember that at all times."

Our self-talk is key to our life experience. We need to learn to be spiritual counselors to ourselves so that we guide our lives in the direction of Light.

Oh Divine Presence, I come this day to the realization of the importance of what I say, do and think, for each leaves lasting threads in the tapestry of my life and also in the lives of all in my presence. Guide and Inspire me to weave threads of Light and Love and to cease adding all unholy threads. Help me live more consciously and more fully dedicated to being the best person I can be at every level - body, mind and spirit. Thank You dear Lord.

Monday, January 23, 2017


Loving history as I do, I've just been reading about the state of life in the first part of the first century C.E. Almost all people were poor, therefore peasants. Antipas began urbanization and commercialization, which was a horrible shift for the peasants. Most of the peasants were rural, lived on small farms and grew their own food, yes they had to give a hefty portion to those who were in control, the dominators, but they had food and a roof over their heads. BUT the urbanization and commercialization lost many of the peasants their land. They had to become artisans or beggars. Families were broken. Hope moved to despair.

It was into the turmoil of a new kind of poverty that Jesus began teaching The Way. He had a different emphasis than his cousin, John the Baptist who taught an apocalyptic end to the world coming soon. Jesus taught the kingdom was present, NOW. He taught the end was to injustice, but the people and the planet would continue to exist. Of course, since only a tiny few were well-off, he spoke to peasants, his followers were peasants. He showed them how to share with one another and take care of one another as members of The Kingdom, the new family to those who lost their families, land and ways of life.

I was thinking about the problems in our inner cities - similar in many ways to the 1st century. No land, families broken, begging, welfare/dependency or crime a new way of life.

Would it work to reverse the trend to the city and find ways to give small farms, along with training on how to grow foodstuffs to those trapped in inner cities? Could new family units be created that offered care and support and shared work? Could people feel part of The Kingdom and therefore caring and sharing? Could we get some land to give and some volunteers to test it out? Could dignity be the solution? I wonder.

Think on this with me please

Wednesday, January 18, 2017


Titles can be like little boxes that define and put limits. It gives one an easy out. This person is this and so is put in this box with no more thinking required. In some ways it is like prejudice - put people in categories and so have no need to look at individuals. Glittering generalities, a term from college days, then covers whatever the subject. Critical thinking can sit on a shelf acquiring dust.

So I was thinking about myself and titles I've had - child, daughter, granddaughter, niece, friend, student, wife, mother, teacher, pastor, Mrs., Ms., Dr., Rev. Each of these has a box defining the roles that go with such a title.

In my old age I tend to think of process rather than title. What am I doing with my time? I think and write thoughts about spiritual philosophy and spiritual psychology. I engage in sewing and the making of quilts. I am involved in various was in the community. Some of the ways that used to fill my time have faded away either temporarily or perhaps permanently.

And I find I really do not fit in a box. I am this and more. I am this with lots of shapes and styles. I am this expanding and questing being on this little planet, striving to discern much that appears to be unknowable from "regular" channels. The titles and boxes are split into a zillion pieces. I no longer am there.

It is all exhilarating. It scares the heck out of meek souls who want to live in boxes with others also in boxes. It is full of humor and joy and hope. I do love this horizonless view. God is Infinite - step out into the limitless quest to know and live awake in the Divine Presence. I wish for more souls to step out too and celebrate this incredible experience of human life on a blue and white planet in the corner of a small galaxy.

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Lazy Days - Daze

Today is a lazy day that puts me into a bit of a daze. We got up a bit after 6. Looking out the window I saw gray skies and a break in our much-needed rain. I read for awhile in "Birth of Christianity." At 8 we switched on the TV and watched Chris Wallace. We ate a few bites and showered and dressed. Off to church we went. Our Prayers and Squares group had quilts number 45, 46 and 47 up for blessing (we only began in April, 2016). We went for breakfast, I had blueberry pancakes with fresh blueberries. I bought some white fabric for a project I dreamed about last night. We came back and Gilbert is excitedly watching the Green Bay Packers and Dallas Cowboys struggle to go on toward the Superbowl. I worked on a flier, some bookmarks and other computer things. I cut fabric for the next paper piecing project. Nothing special, just another day. Hmmm, but wait...

Of course, it really is special. It's an amazing gift. Life on earth. Life on this whirling blue and white marble hurling through space at tremendous speeds. Life in this body that is somehow turning those blueberry pancakes into cells all over my body. Material things actually mostly empty space with fast streaks of light and energy making it seem solid.  Life lived in the Presence of God. It's magic. It's miraculous. It's astounding. It seems impossible that all of this exists the way it exists. Every millisecond is beyond fabulous, marvelous, incredible. It's beyond what any words can say.

How should we be so blessed to have entered into this reality? How amazing that we have been chosen to be here.

And, I'm sure all of this also implies we have a responsibility to treat all of these miracles tenderly and carefully. We turn our attention to our own lives, bodies and affairs to deal with ourselves respectfully and lovingly. But, we cannot stop there. We are to treat all of our brothers and sisters, all of the species of animals and plants, the planet itself - with care and respect. All of it is part of the miracle, all is sacred.

Oh my, dear God - what a place this is, what a creation You have made. Thank You for giving us this opportunity. Lead us to treat all of it with a loving and sacred touch. Help us to remember and live aware and awake to the miracle of it all. Help us to stay conscious that we really do live and move and have our being in You - as do all inhabitants of this incredible earth.

Friday, January 13, 2017

What? Why?

Oh the questions we can ask. Sometimes "why" leads to blame or down some rabbit hole or the other. "What" can lead to assessment and empowerment.

Friends and relatives ask me frequently "Why is this happening to you?" Or they ask it about their own life situations, "Why is this happening to me?" I think it is the "Job" syndrome. Remember his friends kept trying to define why he was in such a mess in every area of his life. He clearly had some blame to bear in his horrible situation, according to his friends.

I really don't have a succinct, or even hint of an accurate "why" in the vast majority of cases. I can make some wild guesses that tend to lead to a string of wild guesses. Because I have an enemy- maybe??? But then how did this enemy come into my life? Because of karma - maybe??? But then karma for what? Because this lesson will turn out to be helpful - maybe??? Speculation can go on and on.

What I can do is describe what is happening and postulate what to do about it. I can formulate a plan. I can take reasoned out steps to effect some sort of change. I can reassess and take other steps. Here I am empowered, even if the situation has not outwardly changed as yet. "What" leads me to action that can affect the future.

What is happening may be confusing in the why question, but may be empowering in the what question.

What is happening to me right now is different in different areas of my life. In some areas I am soaring along, in some I am in the dark night of the soul. My question is, Lord, what should I do to exit the dark night of the soul? My true self knows that God knows, God guides, God is here, all is well. Even in this odd and precarious situation, God is here. I am not alone. Lead me dear Lord.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Truth Puzzle

From my first memories, I notice I've had an inquiring mind. There is something in me that wants to know, wants to figure things out, wants the Truth. My wired-in mindset has led me to some very interesting places.

Sometimes I walk right into conflict. Most of it is the clash between the search for truth and others' need to maintain their bias/ignorance/rules/ideology. My understanding is that the Great Infinite Intelligence that created/creates/re-creates all that is, is not offended by my/our questions and sincere search/quest. We finite beings cannot encompass Infinite, so all we "know" is only a tiny shard of all that is. We can keep walking onward to ever larger schards, or stand still or go backwards in the service of limited, "safe," shards clouded by immobility and ignorance.

At the same time, we cannot expect to know it all. We can only choose to know more, understand more, express more of who we are, love more. We will not arrive at the final destination of Infinite me. However, by letting go of the mental bindings we have acquired, we can bound into a new sense of freedom and the joy of the quest.

One of my joys is and has been to engage in spiritual, philosophical conversation with others on the open-minded, open-ended quest for increasing understanding and truth. We aim to know Truth, and inch along gathering up more and more bits of it, discarding bits that once seemed true, but now we see are not. We are works in progress as are our understandings. We are not attached to our current understandings, for we know that what we know is a tiny shard, so we go forward to more.

There is an exhilarating freedom walking along this quest path. I wish for us all this freedom. For my friends all over the world walking with me, I send you my joy and wishes for ever bigger pieces of the puzzle of life on earth. Thank you for walking with me.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Morning Thoughts

This seems to me to be a curious planet. Its' humans seem constantly/incessantly self-destructive. It carries on to the next and the next and the next generations. Perhaps the barrier of time has bleed-through so that the ugliness and the beauty carry on a battle, a tug of war, where no one really wins.

Often we see individuals and groups hypnotized by a particular ideology. Once under the spell, critical thinking it ousted and the converts are willing to do almost anything to quell other ideas and ways.

History, it seems, may not after all be our teacher. Pick just about any time in history, and you will find dominating people forcing others to do and be what the dominators want. The dominators destroy wide swaths of the people and their customs, even exterminating them. The dominators do not have to be the majority of a culture, they rule ruthlessly often from a minority position.

Look at our "modern" time. What a mess.

I propose we endeavor to get our sanity awake and our thinking skills dusted off. 

Let's look at our planet and co-inhabitants from a spiritual prospective. The Divine (whatever name you wish to use: God, Elohim, Yahweh, Allah, Mother/Father God, Great Spirit, Infinite Intelligence...) created us all. We are siblings. Everyone and everything is sacred, imbued with a spiritual essence.

Let's contemplate what a different world it would be if we simply awakened to the sacredness of creation. Would we speak, act and be different? I think we could have an amazing and glorious earth if we simply laid down our ideologies and lived awake in the attitude of sacredness. I further believe it is possible. It could shift quickly. It is only the hypnosis of limited ideology, that we keep in place, that imprisons us.

WAKE UP BROTHERS AND SISTERS. REMEMBER - we are spiritual beings having a human experience and we are responsible for how we live, what we do and how we love or don't love, how we cherish one another or destroy one another. We can do it.

You are a sacred creation with millions of miracles going on in you and your body every moment. You have a purpose, as do all others, for God created you and placed you here. Let's stand up, drop ideologies, and join together to transform life on earth to the spiritual place it is in Reality.