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Monday, March 30, 2020

Big Day - Sort Of

Well it has happened. I entered this life on March 30, 1940. The milestone of 80 years served in this planet is reached today. It scarcely seems possible that I am actually that old. I'm still me, although perhaps a more refined and updated version. There is a continuity of all ages and stages in these years. I see a stream of consciousness that is identifiable as me all along the way.

The Way of my journey is filled with a multitude of things, places, people, ideas, hopes, dreams, terrors, growth, darkness and light. It has all been my teacher. The lessons of this life that are meaningful and memorable are all experiential. There are precious moments cherished still.

No matter how horrid a moment may have been, it was my teacher, contributing to my awakening. I think of Paul's idea that all things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to his purposes.

I believe a string of spirituality has woven all the disparate moments into the path I walk and who I am. Mother told me that as a child I was so spiritual it scared her. Kind of an odd thing to say. I don't find spirituality to be scarry. But it does speak to the connecting thread of my journey. From my earliest memory to this now moment the theme of my life is spirituality, genuine spirituality, not second hand, not off the shelf, not what other people sell. My walk is with God. The veil is thin and shimmering.

It seems to me, your connecting thread is also spirituality. Look over your life and give thanks for all of your teachers and for remembering, as Teilhard de Chardon said, "You are a spiritual being having a human experience."

 Live this life well.

Love, Light and Blessings,

Sunday, March 29, 2020

My Problem with Christian Theology

Part of my problem I should say. Most of theology was developed long after the fact by men who had intentions that might be considered compromised. They had control and power issues. They had no direct information. They had no original manuscripts, and the writings that eventually were canonized were all written by men who never met Jesus, and except for Paul (who met Peter and James), never met anyone who met Jesus (written between 70 and 120 CE).

Theologians were sometimes inspired, but generally ignorant and superstitious, living mostly from the first century to the dark ages. They could not, of course, escape the context of their times. They lived in a world that was flat and the center of the universe. They lived in a limited time in regard to almost everything.

But still glimmers of Light eeked through. We must seek those glimmers if we truly seek truth.

It has been said by many that if someone is pointing to the moon, we often mistake the fingers to be the moon. So just for a moment consider with me that Jesus was a bridge to God, a finger pointing to God.

As far as we know, he never asked to be worshipped or prayed to. A number of times he was reported to have said it was not him but the Father within doing the work. His example of how to pray started with "Our Father", not with our Jesus. He told us we would do greater things than he. He showed the way to experience God's Kingdom, and the way was love. Love everyone. Don't judge by appearances. Forgive everyone. Love God. The Kingdom is within, so go within.

I love church, and I've been part of one or the other most of my life. But sometimes I cringe at what is being said or sung. We in this mixed up world need spiritual connectedness desperately. We can't get it with 4th century ideas and music and misinformation. Let us look clearly at the brilliantly lit bridge that Jesus gave us and walk The Way.

Friday, March 27, 2020

Lost Connection

There is transpersonal research that indicates our experience in the womb, during the birth process and then the first days of independent existence set a tone for our lives. There is also evidence that while we are a fetus, we have consciousness, we have awareness. We are connected spiritually to The More.

If we feel safe, loved and nurtured during these stages, we are more positive and more likely to stay spiritually  connected during the course of this life.

If our experiences in these stages are negative (mother on drugs, attempted abortion or discussion about abortion, difficult birth, loud and stressful first days, etc.), we lose connection to the spiritual world and find life a painful ordeal that is emotionally painful.

Deep internal work can heal the negative beginning and restore spiritual connections. It seems to me, far too few people do such deep work. This conclusion is based on my observations of human behavior over the course of history. There has been horrible and violent behavior in every time.

I wonder how could large numbers of people be awakened to the need of deep healing in such a way they actually are inspired to pursue it?

I used to employ a technique either I developed or adapted, I'm not sure. Anyway in a guided meditation I would ask the person to see a symbol of their current problem. Then I would lead them to follow the symbol back to the little person (usually before the age of 7) who created the symbol. We would then develop the healing in various ways. This technique brought a lot of deep healing in almost all cases. I rarely have the situation nowadays where I feel that can employ this. Ahhh retirement.

It has occurred to me to this morning that maybe it is time for me to find a way to actively engage in helping with healing once again.

I am open to guidance. Show me. Where shall I go? What door shall I walk through? 

Thursday, March 26, 2020

What I See Is Not A Total Picture

Science has shown us that our senses can only relay to us a tiny fragment of what there is. A few examples:

  • Our eyes see a small band of color in the total spectrum.
  • The gray spider web is seen by those insects drawn to it as brilliant, attractive colors.
  • What we think of as solid is actually mostly empty space.
  • Etc
As physics and spirituality merge with similar conclusions, we may find ourselves in a virtual play where we act out certain roles for the experience and learning or because of karma.

We may need to take another look, at not only physical reality, but also at metaphysical and transpersonal realities.

Reincarnation was only banned as a teaching in Christianity in 553 ce. In many cultures and times, it has  been a way to understand evil, the shadow, the dark side, and the continual nature of the soul. Death is then seen as birth into another dimension and then perhaps rebirth to life on earth. We come here to learn and develop our consciousness. For some of us, it takes a lot to break through to full awareness. 

At any rate, I have come to think that we see only dimly - now through a glass darkly, as Paul wrote. But many people think they see with perfect clarity, and so their egos rule and delay awakening until another time and another place. Beware of the smug.

We must do our best to keep learning and expanding, shattering boxes of ignorance. The Vastness of All calls. Step into Infinity.

Sunday, March 22, 2020

Shoes and Ships and Sealing Wax...

"Alice in Wonderland" pops into my mind in relation to the world pandemic and to my current reading about holograms. Strange things are unfolding.

Part of the discussion around the holographic nature of everything involves near death experiences, out of the body experiences, shamen, mystics, psychics, dreams, synchronicity, UFOs, intuition, precognition and more. They may all represent dimensional shifts or shifts to other holographic existences or levels. It seems that the reports of all experiences of the above, over vast stretches of time and space, are remarkably similar.

The higher, or next, or other dimension is described as luminous, beautiful, fully love, non-judgmental while at the same time simply reviewing and assessing one's life, incredible knowledge comes at once as in a cloud containing all about some area or other, peaceful, and with a lot of activity.

One of the cloud bombs of knowledge contains the realization of oneness at all levels. People who visit this other realm (whether shamen, yogis, or ordinary people who have this extraordinary experience) return to this realm made new. They are more loving, calmer, often become meditators and lose fear of "death," as they know about soul continuation. Their perspective has changed. They value spirituality and are not bound by any particular religion, for they have seen beyond. If they remain in an earthly religious group, they interpret the symbols and rituals differently.

They often become teachers of ways and techniques to open to this shift in consciousness. If you seek a teacher, do be careful, as there are charlatans selling phony ideas and wanting to take your money.

I find such explorations nurturing to the soul and so very freeing, beyond amazing really.

Open me to the knowing of oneness. Help still my wandering mind to focus and meditate. Lead me to know More. Free me from false ideas. Fill my awareness with Truth. I come to seek You, Divine One.

Friday, March 20, 2020

Silver Linings

Even in a pandemic there is light peeking out around the edges of darkness. Even in the midst of tragedy there are people rising in inspiring ways.

People are coming together, realizing how we are actually in this together, not just in the narrow sense of this one challenge, but also in the bigger sense of beings sharing the same planet. There is potential in this moment in time for humanity to open to compassion and actually being peace to our planetary home.

It's not certain, but I see a maybe. I see hope. See it with me.

Monday, March 16, 2020

Sheltering in Place

Here we are, the elderly supposed to not go out unless necessary. Store shelves empty as panic sets in. A lot of society shut down, no church, movies, gyms, restaurants etc. Borders are shut, travel discouraged.

Why? In my 80 years there have been epidemics and pandemics. There was no massive shut down. I hear the worst one in the 20th century was the 1918 Spanish Flu, before my time. A huge number of people died. So far, this one has a death rate at the most 3.7% in China and a lot less elsewhere. So why are we shutting down? Is there something we're not being told?

The contagion of fear is both fascinating and weird, hard to understand. I suppose fear in general can be hard to understand. Some people are almost paralyzed by their fears. Some people are afraid of what others might think trivial. Some people are afraid of actual things, the burglar downstairs or the potential loss of a loved one.

As a child, I was afraid of the boogeyman so elegantly described by my grandmother. Even worse was her story of a man in Pittsburg who climbed into a bad little girl's window and chopped her up into inch cubes --- and he was coming for me. I spent many a night terrified, hiding in the covers. It was irrational fear made seemingly rational by the authority of adult superiority. It lurks in my subconscious and peeks up once in awhile still. I often say that my sweet husband saves me from the man in Pittsburg.

For the most part, I have come to think fear is rarely useful. Sure in an actual emergency it can rally a person's super strength. But we not often in an actual dangerous situation. Many of our fears are born in our imaginations or in someone else's imagination. Someone has said fear is false evidence appearing real. It seems to me we can rise above most fears.

I've been told the fear of death is behind most fears. It seems to me this is a valid observation. I sometimes wonder why. We all come to the end of this earthly life and are born into another life. I absolutely know life continues. I'm not in a hurry to go on, and I'm not afraid either. Life continues. Let us be at peace.

Thursday, March 12, 2020


As I watch the earth drama unfolding before my eyes on television, on the internet and the newspapers, my mind alerts me to the concept of "stopthink." If you remember the crowd and mind control of the old dystopia, you will remember, for example, billboards announcing one group as friend and one as enemy. Suddenly one day the billboards declared the opposite, the roles were reversed, the enemy was now the friend and the friend the enemy. No explanation.

A couple of weeks ago, talking heads on television were talking about the virus out of Wuhan, the  Chinese virus, etc. That's because it started there. This week, the same heads are saying it is racist to call it the Wuhan virus or the virus from China. No explanation for the shift.

I see this dynamic frequently. The virus is just one of the recent examples. Look at the "news" and you will see both historical and current examples.

I wonder about the success of stopthink, how can it be sold without an outcry? Are most people naive, or numb, or apathetic, or not paying attention? Are we humans easily led this way and that by unscrupulous talking heads on television or other prominent folks? What would happen if we humans stopped, looked, listened and said, "wait just a darn moment"? What if we called them on it? What if we refused to be led/jerked around this way then that way then another way. What if we saw it all and refused to allow it?

What if we asked for proof or explanation or motive? What if we employed critical thinking skills?

Sunday, March 8, 2020


This morning I was reading a bit about the concept of holons. Basically, as I understand it, everything is itself whole and also part of other things including all that is.

For example, you and I are whole, unique individuals, each with unique life experiences and stories. We are also part of a family that also has its unique set of stories. We are also part of a city, a state, a nation and this planet and all who dwell here, each with its own stories. We are part of our solar system, part of the Milky Way galaxy, part of all galaxies. And, we are unique souls, part of the grand spiritual story.

This leads me to understand spiritual words more fully, such as: Christ within the hope of glory, it's not I but Christ in me, I and the Father are one, it is the Father doing the work, the kingdom is within you, etc.

We already are a part of all that is. We may need to shift our awareness to realize the paradox of individual uniqueness and oneness with all. We are a part of it all, and yet here we are standing as one buman, seemingly separate.

My responsibility now shifts. Not only am I to be all that I can be, taking care of my own body, my own mind, my own spiritual awareness, but since I am part of all that is, my participation becomes part of  all that is. Am I contributing uplift or downdraft? Am I a beneficial presence? Am I compassion and kindness?

Whatever I do or say becomes part of the entire chain. For me, I continually strive to be a positive, although maybe tiny, contributor.

Open the vault of my deepest being and pour Your Light over every nook and cranny. Lead me in Your ways so that who I am is fully present. Lead me to a more whole/holy way to be a part of all. I lift up my life to You.

Wednesday, March 4, 2020

Light and My Journey

In preparing to share my journey on March 29 at the Methodist Church, My 8 Decade Walk With God, I have been thinking a lot about Light. When I was confirmed those many years ago, our minister/pastor gave each of us kids a different Bible verse. Mine was about being a child of Light. Also, I have had numerous experiences of and in Light. Light has played a key roll in my spiritual life all along the way.

A quote from Lao Tse came to my attention this week.
Use the light that dwells within you to regain your natural clarity of sight.
 Somehow this led me think about what I wrote about vortices recently. To be free and able to experience The More, we have to get free of the mind-numbing vortices of fixed thoughts and beliefs. We have to rise above our false assumptions that lead us to believe we already know it all. How can we somehow know Infinite?

We have a light within that is pushing us, nudging us to It and away from our numbness and attachments. Our clarity of thought leads us to see with new eyes, hear with new ears, just as Jesus said.

The spiritual quest is quite an adventure.