Mortality

Last week I was diagnosed with macular degeneration. It turns out it is hereditary. My dad lost almost all of his sight, unable to do his beloved gardening or crossword puzzles. It was challenging to say the least.

For some reason, this diagnosis brought to the forefront in my mind my own mortality. I look at these hands, looking a lot like my mother's. One day they will be dust, no longer writing words, caressing loved ones, no longer making quilts or painting pictures, no longer whipping up new and creative recipes. My body will be returned to earth, no longer "mine" and no longer the garment my soul uses to navigate earth. This phase of my eternal journey will conclude.

So I ask myself, I am using it as fully as I could? Are my hands helping always? Is my mind seeking Truth always? Is my heart loving with abandon? Am I the best I can be?

I believe I am accountable for loving unconditionally.  We all are. I believe there is a purpose for me to be here at this time and place. We all are. We have purpose. Can I honestly answer affirmatively to these when I'm done here?

I need to look at myself and keep moving in these directions, for the hourglass of my life has just a little left. I will be 80 next year. of course it is possible I could live to be 100. Even so, the most of this life has gone before and some smaller piece remains. I know I must use it wisely.

Divine Presence, fill me, lead me, guide me to employ each moment in service of Your Highest call to me. Cleanse my heart of all darkness so Your Light shines brightly. May these final years be lived to Your Glory. Let it be so.