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Monday, April 8, 2013

Thought I Was A Gonner

What a fascinating week. For part of it, I thought it might be my last on earth. However, it appears the world is stuck with me for a while longer:)

It started with a cough, congestion and a Z Pack of antibiotics. Then on Thursday I had prickles all over my body and was itchy and miserable. On Friday morning when Gilbert awakened me, he said "What is the matter with your eye?!!" I went to the mirror and saw that my right eye was swollen and drooping. Could no longer see my eyelid.

Since I'd had complications from my cataract surgery on that eye, I called the eye doctor. I was told to come right away. At 9 o'clock he was examining my eye. He said my eyeball was fine and it was systemic. He told me to either go to my doctor or emergency.

I called our doctor and was told he was away until Monday, but another doctor was covering for him. They gave me his number and in less than 2 hours I was in his examining room. He told me he thought I had bell's palsy and prescribed a steroid and an anti-viral.

By bedtime the tingling itchiness was gone. Yea! Saturday I felt odd, really odd. At bedtime the right side of my face was swollen, I had difficulty swallowing and there was a column of pain in my head. Gilbert wanted to take me to emergency, but I was hesitant. Then as I lay in bed, I got concerned that I was going to die and he would never forgive himself for not forcing me to go to the hospital. So, we got up and went to the hospital. While there, my cheeks turned raspberry bright red, my blood pressure shot up to 173/100 and I felt worse and worse.

After a CT scan and examination, the ER doctor said no tumor, no stroke, etc. and he was pretty sure it was an extreme allergic reaction. He said to stop the anti-virals as they were making it worse and to add an anti-histamine and Tylenol. He offered me stronger pain pills, but I didn't want them - they make me nauseated and fuzzy headed. At 3:30 in the morning we left and drove home in surprisingly thick fog.

Yesterday I rested and read a lot. I was still shaky. The swelling went down and the pain lessened. I wonder what triggered this event??? The peanut butter candy I'd been sucking on maybe? Mold lingering somewhere left over from the flood we had in December? What?

This afternoon I see our doctor. Maybe he can sort it out. (PS - Saw our doctor and our doctor thinks it was a reaction to either the Z Pack I took for sore throat or to peanut butter. Either way, a new and a very extreme reaction to something that was okay for me in the past. Phoeey!)

During the entire time, I had a dialogue with God. It was interesting. While I didn't particularly want to die, I found I was at peace with the idea too. I was in an observer mode in a truly interesting way. I arrived fully and completely at "Thy Will be done." Peace, complete peace. Yes, the Highest and Best, God's Will in my life accepted with every fiber of my being, so all there could be was peace. And the corner turned, and there is more to do here.

Dear dear God, here I am. Lead me as You would into the rest of this earthly life so that I live as You would have me, doing what You would have me do. Thy Will be done today and forevermore.

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