Letting Go

 

And what is this divine law? To keep a man's will, not to claim anything which belongs to others, but to use what is given, and anything that’s not given, not to desire it; and when a thing is taken away, to be ready to let it go immediately, and to be thankful for the time that God gave you use of it.  --- Epictetus

 As I wrestle with letting go of my things, I keep finding thoughts that help me, such as the above quote. I am making strides, and yet this thing or that pops into my mind, and my heart glitches, and a tear rolls down my cheek. Am I to go through the whole inventory, releasing each item? I don't dwell on it, something presents itself, and my mind goes to something related that t treasure still; its not just big and financially valuable things. For example, last week at physical therapy, the therapist had a bracelet of white round beads that he said his father gave him. Up came the little beads with my name on them they put on my ankle in the hospital when I was born. I saw it in its little box, and I teared up. A tiny piece of the betrayal. 

If Gilbert had listened to such wisdom as above, as what Jesus also taught, he would have been a different person. But he didn't listen and he was who he was. 

I do give thanks that for a time I had lovely things, sentimental things, valuable things. I pray to release then, for they are no longer mine. I pray to be free of this pain. 

Yesterday, this little prayer came to me  - Lord, restore me not to how I was, but to how You would have me be.