Inner Turmoil

 I realized this morning that many of my early mistakes in life were because I was looking through the lens of inner turmoil, so much unresolved hurt and confusion. The turbulence distorted my seeing and hearing and doing. I made some pretty disastrous decisions. If you have read my latest book, you have walked through some of them with me and know how devastating parts of my life have been.

 At the same time, there was something in me that wouldn't give up. There was faith in God and the striving to follow Jesus' teachings as well as an abiding hope lurking inside of me.

Finally, in my old age, the turbulence was simply gone. It had been fading away for many years to be sure.

 I did so many things to get free - tons of prayers, all kinds of meditations, a mountain of books read, countless seminars and retreats, dozens of books written, a large pile of journals filled, and more. I was determined.  And through it all, I served and gave and grew. I was able to let the Light shine through the diminishing turmoil.

Last year's shredding betrayal tore apart the remnants of the disturbance in my inner being.and left my soul bare of all of it. 

In some ways , I went through spiritual surgery, paring away all false things, finding glimmers, then rays, then Light. God at the center of all. 

In some ways it boils down to letting go and letting God. I highly recommend all of you spiritual friends of mine to consider letting go and letting God in your lives. It will save you a lot of grief and take you to the place of Light much quicker. God bless you!