Stewardship and Restriction

 A passage in Amy Jill Levine's book, "Sermon on the Mount," grabbed me this morning.

Only the meek, those who would not use the inheritance to reinforce their own already privileged position, are worthy to care for the land. They understand stewardship, they understand restriction of activity (for what one can do is not necessarily what one should do), and they understand their responsibility in turn to pass the land to others.

What reached out and grabbed me particularly is the line about what we can do not being necessarily what one should do. We humans are capable of so many things, both for good and for evil. Perhaps me would do well to stop and think, I can  ..., but should I ...?  We would do well as an individual, as part of a community, as part of a nation, as part of earth, as a person on a spiritual path, to ask, should I, should we?

I think this grabbed me this morning partially because I am on the cusp of making some decisions that are potentially major. Whichever decisions I make lead to new paths that would have surprises, unintended consequences. Neither seems wrong from the vantage point of now. Not being able to see into the future, I must pick between several seemingly good choices. I can pick this one or that one, but should I?

And I see on my news feed and television a bunch of people doing things they can do, but surely shouldn't do. It occurs to me stewardship and restriction are not often taught. Total freedom and hedonism are played out. A person can do anything, but there are consequences, legally and karmically. Has someone forgotten to teach this?

Confucius Says

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and Third by experience, which is bitterest.

The great moral thinker, philosopher, and contemporary of Lao Tse , Confucius, said many things that lead us into contemplation and insights. I was pondering the above quote this morning.

A quick survey of the state of humanity at this moment in time shows a dearth of wisdom. Maybe Confucius can shed some light on where we find ourselves.

My observation is that we are generally stuck in the bitterest, experience. But we have not learned from experience enough to shift to wisdom. Hyperbole, violence, manipulation, greed, envy, ego, etc seem to lead our leaders into an endless circle that doesn't seem to have an off ramp. Those not in power look on in dismay.

The second way to wisdom, he says, is by way of imitation. But who do we imitate? Christians tell us Jesus. I agree, but for most of the last two thousand years Christians have done the opposite with "holy" wars, pogroms, inquisitions, concentration camps, slavery and other horrors. I still have a bit of hope that it is possible to follow and imitate the Christ way and be led to actually walk it.

The highest way to wisdom is reflection, according to Confucius. The world, however, has gone into the busyness spin of frenzied activity, most of which is meaningless. The blessing and curse of technology leaves us little time to reflect. There are pockets, of course, retreat centers, etc. But most people go to a retreat for a time and then return to the frenzy. 

It seems to me,  we can carve out a regular, daily time for reflection. My daily practice is to start the day with a cup of tea, reading inspirational material, reflecting on it and prayer/meditation, sometimes journaling either here or on paper. 

We can also find our heroes to imitate. My heroes are the spiritual lights strewn across history. I look to Jesus, the great mystics of all faiths, Buddha, Lao Tse, Confucius and others.

And we can objectively look at our experiences and discover which lead to wisdom, and which lead astray. Learn from our mistakes and let them go.

With a three prong approach, we have a good chance of entering wisdom and leaving the frenzy in our rearview mirrors.

Lifter, Leaner or What?

Jesus told us the poor will always be with us. The Torah, in Deuteronomy 15, says, Since there will never cease to be some in need on the earth, I therefore command you, 'Open your hand to the poor and needy in your land.' Mores, rules, customs, religious imperatives across time call those who are able to share, to lift those who are for whatever reason unable. Reincarnation teachings generally say we experience different kinds of lives for development of our souls.

There is no teaching or ruling or custom that tells us to be selfish.

From whatever vantage point we view life, we are called to be lifters of others. When we find ourselves down and almost out, we are asked to graciously accept help. However, there is no teaching to just let others take care of us forever, if we are able in any way to recover. There is no teaching that tells us to be perpetual leaners.

There is a breakdown in this understanding nowadays, it seems to me. And I think think it might be partially due to the flight away from spirituality, not only in Western Cultures, but generally across the planet. So many people seem to forget the nature of the journeys of life. It's a soul adventure. It's more than it appears on the surface.

We're not here to wear the latest styles. We're not here to give up and let others take care of us. We're here to learn and grow and be all we can be. We're here to release the imprisoned splendor, to give up excuses, to rise and overcome and shine our inner light. This is a spiritual journey, a spiritual school. If we reframe our lives in such a way, it's almost magical, well it's spiritual, but it's so far from the materialist's frame that it seems magical.

A Vision of Now

This morning I saw a vision of our politics as if a caricature of a Shakespearean play. There are basically two teams in this play who are acting out their parts in the extreme. There are fans who cheer their team on as if home town football teams in their tie breaking final game of the season. There is frenzy. There is hyperbole. There is the ridiculous. There seems to be no extreme too far.

The purpose of the play is to entertain, to call forth strong emotion, and keep people busy so they don't see behind the melodrama. Most of the power is in the background with the permanent class. Actors come and go, but directors, producers, writers, costumers, camera crew, make-up artists, special effects experts, etc stay on for many decades.

If they can rile us up enough, they can control us, our emotions, and our actions. The most controlled resort to violence, especially violence against their own interest, such as destroy small businesses that serve their community, destroy statues of cultural heroes like Fredrick Douglass and General Grant, and even maim and kill those on the other team.

Philosophers and theologians have long spoken about removing the concept of "other." We are all part of the human family. Compassion is often a description of a spiritually awakened person. 

However, the play performed for us demeans religion, reignites racial hatred, and takes us to opposite corners, ready to square off.

I suggest we look at this fiction for the last time and turn to reality, jumping off this wild ride. With calm minds we can discern what is most kind and helpful. We can remove outside controls and turn to what we already know is right and just and do that. 

Ah, Yes, C. S. Lewis Again

 A quote from him grabbed me this morning.

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly right harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And we can't go on indefinitely being just an ordinary decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad. 

This analogy seems to me to be apt in a number of areas. 

• Personally, we are called to heal our wounds, move beyond ego driven lives, explore new ideas and become all we can be. We are to own and use wisely the power of our minds and our very being.
• Politically, we are to rise out of tribalism, extreme polarity, and move to embrace one another with compassion and kindness.
• Spiritually, we are to move out of musty ideas of long gone thinkers and theologians, to a fresh way to know the Divine experiencially and then to live generously out of our knowing.

The old egg of ego and division and second hand religion simply won't fly. Let's crack the shells of our lives and learn to fly.

No One Is An Island, Yet We All Are Islands

In my half-awake moments this morning I saw a parade of the Presidents during my lifetime. My life began with FDR, before we joined WWII. At my count, 12 men were in this parade. There are many written words about what happened and didn't happen during these 80 years. We have some shared history that we can point to. But then, most of what transpired did so in the privacy of our own minds.

Our private thoughts constitute a one of a kind world. No one knows all of our experiences, how we interpreted them, how they changed us, our musings, our deepest hopes and fears, our doubts, our certainties, our secrets. We are each an island, a unique island, with the waters of our shared history washing our shores. Each island takes in these waters in different ways though, with different understanding.

It is a strange feeling to realize no one really knows us fully. No one else has access to the bizillion thoughts and experiences of a lifetime. In fact, neither do we, for we have forgotten most if it. We couldn't function if every second of our lives were front and foremost.

We have memory clusters that can get triggered - groups of decisions, of painful times, of useful and practical information, of failures, of successes, etc. Some are neutral, just information such as, don't touch that hot oven. Some are highly charged. It is these highly charged clusters that need healing.

Say you shout X at me. All X type memories pull us back to that spot in our subconscious where X memories and reactions are stored. We react automatically, as if all these X's were happening all at once. Our reaction is over the top. There is a rubber band effect, pulling us backward. 

Once we realize this, we have choices. We can defend our reaction, thereby reinforcing the automatic reaction and making the rubber band stronger. Or we can notice we are reacting out of proportion from some deep place in our island. Then we can begin to heal. We can do affirmations, we can meditate and journal, we can talk about it to a confidant, etc. The thing is, we can make our island healthier and kinder. We can move towards freedom from automatic clusters. This means psychological healing and movement toward spiritual awakening. As long as we have rubber bands pulling us into robot like automatic responses, we have work to do.

Forgiveness and Onward

Our Pastor talked about forgiveness this morning on our live streaming church service. Those who know me know I even wrote a book on the topic, often quipping that I had become an expert on forgiveness because I had to do so much of it.

I found myself, long ago, as a young women with deep conflicts and pain that I dared not say out loud. I was told I was exceptionally bright and talented, but I knew I had irredeemable faults that I didn't know how they were born or how to overcome them.

Let me share the basics, hoping the power of forgiveness can illustrate how even one such as me can be restored by its power.

I knew something major was wrong with me. I knew because my mother and grandmother told me, and my dad didn't contradict. He was mild and kind and helped me with my school projects, made me things like desks, and helped me with algebra homework, but there was a problem. Mother told me repeatedly she almost died when she had me, and daddy was sorry he made her pregnant. That's how the story of my life began, as a potential mother killer and a regret in my father's heart. Her beatings of me with yard sticks that broke with the strength of her blows and her red hand print upon my face verified over and over how I was essentially a hated problem and at best a nuisance. There were also the many dramas when she locked herself in the bathroom, my dad coming to me, "your mother is locked in the bathroom, crying, saying you hurt her feelings. Come apologize." I always said and believed I didn't know what I'd done, but there was something terribly wrong with me, that had been established. So, there I was, again, apologizing to the bathroom door for some unnamed awful thing.

Her mother, my grandmother underscored it all in so many ways. She once cornered me in the laundry room, held a knife to my throat and threatened me. The 8 year old me managed to trip her and lock myself in the garage till someone came home. But she remained for sometime in my bedroom until my father built her a room and bath on the back of the house. She told me awful bedtime stories like the man in Pittsburgh who chopped a bad little girl up into inch cubes and was coming for me. She sometimes would rock in the wicker rocker, digging in her fingernails, face turning purple as she screamed she was dying and I was killing her, and I would burn forever in hell. I cried at her feet. I didn't know what awful thing I'd done and certainly didn't want to burn in hell, even though the adults in my life seemed to think it was a given.

I think you got the picture. I was extremely insecure, filled with heart ache. I tried to figure it out and get out from the heavy burden of being me. I read and read and read my little New Testament, underlining with colored pencils until it looked something like a rainbow. I still have that little treasure of a book, some of the colors dripping from tears long past. 

I began the long journey of forgiveness. It took some years before I was able to make significant progress. I had no one to talk to about it. It was too horrible. But I soon was able to function so that I did well in school and was able to have friends over (after my grandmother moved out when I was in high school, she could no longer shout out the window at my playmates that we were plotting against her).

I did a deep dive into psychology, philosophy, history, metaphysics, new physics, etc. I absorbed mountains of information. Step by step I found freedom and self acceptance. So, I wrote a book to leave a trail of hope and action so that others were not alone on their journey of forgiveness. If you are on that journey, I hope you'll go to Amazon and consider my ebook, "The Key, Forgiveness and Beyond." 

Always remember God loves you, and so do I.