Henri Nouwen and me on caring, etc.

This morning I opened Nouwen's book, "Out of Solitude," to this:

Every human being has a great, yet often unknown gift to care, to be compassionate, to become present to the other, to listen, to hear and to receive. If that gift would be set free and made available, miracles could take place. Those who really can receive bread from a stranger and smile in gratitude, can feed many without even realizing it. Those who can sit in silence with their fellow man, not knowing what to say, but knowing that they should be there, can bring new life in a dying heart. Those who are not afraid to hold a hand in gratitude, to shed tears in grief, and to let a sigh of distress arise straight from the heart, can break through paralyzing boundaries and witness the birth of a new fellowship, the fellowship of the broken.

So many things whirled through my mind.First of all, I do believe it is true we are all broken in some ways. I believe that the brokenness opens a way for the seed of God within to sprout and grow and become Itself in us.

Then my mind turned to the modern view of people totally immersed in their phones and tablets and not each other. It is a bit alarming that many are losing social skills for they only "know" others electronically.

I cannot help but see pictures in my broken heart of brutal actions of people acting from their limbic brains and not their higher brains and hearts.

I could go on for pages just naming the paths that have gone astray. I will refrain from that here. Enough said to note we are not all in alignment with the above quote.

Yet, I do see wonderful things shifting to real life and to caring. I pray a new wave of caring, compassion and genuine relationship wells up all over the globe.

I think it would do us well to contemplate and journal on the Henri Nouwen quote above and remember when he says "every human being..." we are the ones of whom he speaks.

My Body

This has been a week of medical tests and procedures. Therefore, this week has been focused primarily on my body. As I spent so much time aware of my body, I had many insights, some of which I will share here.

First of all, I am grateful for this amazing, miracle-working, durable body that I have been given. It has been wounded, yet it healed so the wounds no longer exist. It has walked billions of steps and taken me to incredible adventures. It has given forth two beautiful and perfect babies. It has turned all manner of foods and drinks into skin and bone, muscle, nerves, hair, nails, etc. It has alerted me with aches and pains when it needed help. It has learned and accomplished many tasks from sitting up, then walking, to typing on this computer this very moment. It is made of Mother Earth, formed by the Creator and filled with my soul. My body is an amazing thing!

Then I began to think of other forms of body. For example, there is the body of my work. There are books written, sermons given, counseling hours, there are quilts and clothes and paintings. There are kisses given to boo boos, hugs to tearful children. The things I have done while in this body are an extension of my body, and like my body, they stay with earth when my soul leaves and goes to our spiritual home.

Then there is another form of body of my works, the work I have done on my consciousness. This is the most important, yet it is invisible to all but the most discerning. This is the ultimate body of work, for my consciousness goes with me. It may live and teach and grow on earth. It may be an example,either for good or bad, to others. It may leave traces in the body of works that stay here. Yet it does not stay here.

As I have said many times and ways, the work of my consciousness is to be able to abide in unconditional love. My hope, my prayer, my plan is to be able to do this, so that when I leave here, I can say "Yes" to the questions the Being of Light shall ask me

I have a bit of work to do on abiding in unconditional love constantly, continually, without excuse. I am part way there, so I do have hope.

Lord, lead me to honor the grand body You gave me, the incredible mind You placed here, and to release all that is not a part of unconditional love. When my days here are done, I wish to leave the bodies of work here as inspiration and arrows pointing to You. Lead me to be all You had in mind when You created me.

The Movies

Yesterday we saw 2 movies, one at the theater and one on television. The first was Tina Fey's new movie about journalists and others in Afghanistan. I felt like I experienced the chaos, courage and mess of that place. I'm glad I saw it. The other was an old 1935 black and white movie that starred Maurice Chevalier, Meryl Oberon and others. All those people were born long before me and are likely gone from this planet, but they showed me a peek into their lives 80 years later as I looked into their eyes.

In some ways I felt like a time traveler. I went to Afghanistan over a period of years and felt some of what it was like. I was moved that it was dedicated to Tina's father, Donald Fey, who was a photo journalist. I also realized that I don't have that kind of courage as was portrayed in the film. As I looked at the hopeful, happy faces of 1935 (maybe they were trying to cheer people because the Depression was in full swing), I had a heart grabbing moment when I realized that if any of those faces were still on earth, they would be over 100. At the time of making the movie, I would guess the people thought this was a big, important thing to be in this film.

Again I had the experience within that what we do on earth, stays on earth and either leaves a positive mark, a negative mark or no identifiable mark. Those big deal things, except for a few, are totally gone, whish. I thought of the zillions of people who have walked this earth, and how few end up in any kind of record of what they did

When we leave here, all the big deals and little deals, stay; they belong to earth. What we take is the consciousness we developed while doing all of these things. Did we learn the really important parts of the curriculum here? Are we living as pure unconditional love? Are we filled with joy? Are we forgiving and giving? Are we compassionate? Do the fruits of the Spirit ooze from us?  Who have we become?

My hypothesis is that our job is to live as much of spiritual Truth that we possibly can. We are to forgive ourselves when we falter, repent (turn around), try again and keep refining our consciousness. As a Christian, I hear the call to live a Christlike life. As Thomas a Kempis' book is called, The Imitation of Christ. I might be a poor and humble example of that, yet that is my goal, my target. I strive on.

I sit in Your Holy Presence, aware that You are here. Once again I ask for the courage and strength to walk softly and as You would have me. Lead me to live the most Christlike life that is possible for me to live. Hone my consciousness so that sharp edges are gone and only love comes from me. I know I cannot do it alone, and I know with You, all is well. I rejoice!

The Power of Being Alone

I want to start with a quote from Henry Nouwen:

I have the sense that the secret of Jesus' ministry is hidden in that lonely place where he went to pray early in the morning before dawn.

In the lonely place, Jesus finds the courage to follow God's will and not his own; to speak God's will and not his own; to speak God's words and not his own. He reminds us constantly 'By myself I can do nothing... I seek to do not my own will but the will of him who sent me.' And again, 'What I say to you I do not speak of my own accord: it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his works.'

It is in the lonely place, where Jesus enters into intimacy with the Father, that his ministry is born. 

When Jesus requested the people of the day, and through echoes, us, follow me, he said. I believe in following him, I am called to emulate him, say as he said, do my best to do as he did. I am called into the quiet to listen for Guidance. I am called to forgive, to repent, to love. And one of the ways to be able to move in this direction is to go into the quiet, silence and be with God.

Go into the silence daily. Be still and know that I am God, the scriptures tell us.

Fill me with the resolve to turn my life energies to You in the quiet of the morning and evening, in the midst of crowds and the din of the world. Wherever I am, lead me into Your garden of quiet and help me focus and listen to You and Your Guidance. Strengthen me to discipline myself to daily actually enter the silence and commune with You. 

Peace?

When I was young, I dreamed of world peace. I did various things in an effort to foster peace. I worked on myself to be peaceful, for how could I ask the world to be at peace if I myself was not? I got groups together to enter a consensus that peace was possible, the first step I thought. If one thinks it impossible, then whatever is done is a push pull - try this, but it's not possible anyway so why try? etc etc etc

In reading some more of Teilhard this week, I find a piece of my peace puzzle. He says that as we come closer together physically, by virtue of the fact there are more and more of us, we need to come closer together at the heart. He sees it as a next step in evolution. Sympathy for one another is required. I would add and maybe replace that with empathy. Love for sure.

The old ideologies that divide must go. Humanity must grow up.We need to look at one another with a wider eye, not just through the lens of what has always been. We need to drop the old shell, come out of the cocoon, emerge as a sparkling new being.

Prayer, contemplation, deep spiritual practice can lead us there I think. Yet how do we get a significant number of people to sincerely, regularly enter such practices? How do we get individuals to begin working on themselves to become peace, letting go of ego's strident stance? How do we get people off the constant, stupefying immersion in electronic life of phones, computer, television, etc? How do we get bad actors out of stone age, tribal, violent mentality that serves no one, including themselves?

I can see the possibility of peace. I can see a leap up in consciousness. I can see a spiritual evolution. I know it is possible. Whether or not it is possible in my lifetime, I do not know. It seems that perhaps we as the humanity of earth are on a downward flight just now. Perhaps as with an addict, we must hit bottom in order to get up and find a better way. Let us pray about it.

Holy Presence, enter our hearts and minds with Your Peace. Lead us to walk this earth softly, with empathy and love. Reveal to us what we can do to help bring peace on earth. Help us to be part of the shift of humanity growing up. Open our eyes, our hearts, our minds, our whole being to You. Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me...

Just a Little

I was just pondering how sometimes a tiny thing can have leverage and end up making a big difference, and low and behold on the television came just such a story. I'll try to recall the details. A man in prison for killing his landlady with an ax was unhappy that he was not allowed to vote, He sued. The court agreed. He changed voting for felons and may change the course of some of the elections.

Actually, I had been thinking about changes because of small acts of kindness and goodness. A tiny act can open a tiny crevice in the heart and leverage good things for years to come. And, I guess it's partly the old adage that you may be entertaining angels unawares, and Jesus' thought that whatever you do for the least among us we do for him. I thought of some of the small acts of kindness that people did in my long gone past. Let's see:

• Aunt Eleanor painting my little girl fingernails bright red, and also honoring my art and getting me panting lessons.
• Kathy Emshaw across the street letting me use her bike to learn how to ride - it took me all day, but I did it.
• Kathy Peterson having me for week-ends at her house in Friendly Hills. Lots of brothers and sisters and running freely in the orange groves, eating frozen orange halves like sherbet, and simply having a couple of days feeling free.
• My daddy building me the most wonderful swing, putting in a tetherball, helping me with my science project and everything else.
• Mother taking me with her on buying trips to L.A. for the store where she was the buyer.
• Ms. Crowell taking me under her wing and introducing me to theater, to caviar and many special things,
• and a thousand little things from countless people.

Each little kindness adds up, opens up the heart, moves us in positive directions. I was thinking about how wonderful that every good and kind act done for us is also done for Jesus. It all adds up to another step on the spiritual path for the person being kind, for the person receiving the kindness and for Christ. 

Unintended consequences can be a good thing when they start a chain reaction of light. Let's see how many little kind things we can do this week.

Halls of Memory

This morning, as I awoke, I saw a shadowy picture of 3rd grade me, and I heard the haunting violin music of "Red River Valley." I was so very happy, standing in that long ago dining room playing that song. I did not know that the next day I would be grieving because my mother sold my violin and told me I was tone deaf. It was one of hundreds of times she took something from me without discussion or warning and gave me a nonsensical reason.

But what I experienced was more cosmic than the experience itself. I saw that every moment of our lives is alive in the corridor of our journey here on earth and before. It weaves itself into the fabric of our experience. That moment is one of zillions of moments. They are there as part of us. They inform us and show us where we are on our journey.

For example, that memory for me was poignant, shadowy, tender. I felt love for that little girl part of me. If it were sharp edged and painful, it would tell me I have more forgiveness work to do.

I developed a technique to lead a person to the moment they got off course and their negative pattern began, and to help heal it. I used to do it many times for people. As a retired person, it has been a long time since I've counseled and healed as I once did.

Anyway, there are successive moments of who we have ever been, and we can heal the moments that stand shouting and sharp edged. They can be woven into our depth of faith and compassion, once forgiveness and understanding have healed them.

If there is anything I've learned, it is that forgiveness is real, required for spiritual growth, and it is possible. The sharp edged resentment keeps us under the sharp edge, and we apply that sharp edge to others and to current situations. The sharp edges keep us out of communion, deep relationship, oneness with God.  Forgiveness releases all of that. 

I come ready and willing this day to shift my story to forgiveness. Lead me to that place of the forgiven and forgiving.