Resonate With What?

 It seems to me that what we are called to be in resonance with is the Higher Power/God/Divine Presence. It rings throughout the universe with the Call.

How do we move in relationship to The More so that we resonate in harmony with It?

The secret word is "Love." The great traditions all speak of "Love." We wash away all darkness, reentments, ill will, angers, attacks, dividing into "in" or "out" groups, etc. We become walking, talking, beingness of LOVE. We Love because that is who we are. Our Love is not contingent on anything outside. That is, it is not dependent on how others act or speak. It as much a part of us as breathing itself. It is who we are, what we do.

The closer we get to this aspirational goal, the more we resonate with The One. The farther we are away, the less we resonate. We can get so far away, there is only tiny resonance and a flatness, a life only drearily lived, not even approaching the Divine Purpose for coming here.

If our goal is actually spiritual awakening, I suggest we clean off the darkness and move more and more each day into  love, then Love, and then  LOVE!

New Reality

 Over the course of our earthly lives, we shift realities numerous times.  We were once inhabitants of a liquid world in a womb with sounds muffled and limited light. We were once totally dependent little beings, needing the giants around us to do everything for us. We once had no language but crying and waving our limbs. We gained language little by little, and mobility, and our world became bigger. We went to school, and its new batches of reality opened to us. On and on we went, moving from a more limited reality to a bigger one, repeatedly. 

Mostly our reality shifts were somewhat gradual. We had choices. We could embrace them, resist them, run from them, try to change them. We could be adventurous, angry, happy, sad about it all.

I stand at a new place for me. I have an abrupt reality shift of unusual proportions. 

Reality 1: Up until April 9. 2025, 9 a.m., Married to my soulmate who loved me, facing challenges together, trusting our oneness, both filled with Christian faith, who sadly became terminally ill and died of it, organ failure, and a massive heart attack. 

Reality 2: Beginning April 9, 2025, 9:30 a.m., Married to a psychopathic con man who had no feelings or remorse, who stole all of my treasures, money, inheritance, never loved me or anyone, was not spiritual, and died a horrible death.

I seem to have psychological whiplash. 

I have been informed by a retired police officer friend that this is not all that uncommon. So I share so that you know you are not alone. Others have the same climb back to wholeness as I do. Others have been bamboozled by a slick pro. Others have had their hearts, their dreams, their lives trampled. 

Reality will right itself. There will be peace again. Healing will happen. And a door will open to a new chapter. We will walk through that door a lot wiser and stronger. We fell, and yet we rise.

Ahha the Rabbit Hole

I was deceived, so to speak, by my left brain. I ignored my right brain. I focused on the bits and not the whole, on the logic and not the feelings. Or was it the other way? I focused on the feelings of supposed love, and I let him explain away the details in an intricate web of lies. I seem too close to it all right now for clarity.

That is part of the picture that is emerging as I climb back up out of the rabbit hole or holes. Days of disorientation are not my normal place.  I have felt like Alice down the rabbit hole briefly a few times, when earth shattering events occurred, but I quickly got my bearings. In this Gilbert shaped hole, there are holes within holes, drop, then drop some more. I scarcely catch my breath, and another drop hits. I think there can't be more, but then there is more. I pray I've reached the bottom now, and get my bearings and guidance as to how to proceed.

I feel almost like he is being erased from my mind. He is fading. I am being set free.  Now I turn to The Presence of All for guidance. What am I being called towards? 

Help me recognize Your calling to me. Help me brush aside distractions and stay focused upon You. Show me my remaining purpose for coming to earth, so that I can fulfill it and one day return at peace. 

Consider Paul

 I am grateful to N. T. Wright and his book on Paul. He has given me many ideas to ponder.

As usual, my thoughts then lead to other thoughts, maybe to places triggered in my own mind, but not explicitly in the book (or lecture or article).  So one strain of my thoughts went something like this: 

What would the world be like without Paul, if he hadn't gotten on fire with his message and instead just stayed  at home? Would the Jesus message have spread far and wide without Paul? If spread, would it have been a different message without Paul? Would we even know about Jesus without Paul?  

 We of course can never actually know the answers to these questions, but we can see how Paul's understanding and robust, confrontational teaching style stood out in contrast to the time. And, if the status quo had not been interrupted by this fiery orator and deep thinker, we can guess it would have been the same old same old for much longer.

Into the pagan culture, the culture of extreme hierarchy, of promiscuity, of infanticide, of brutality against all who dared to challenge how it was, of low literacy, etc- came a new way championed by Paul.

His passion fired his message that the new Temple was Jesus, a new day had begun, and it was time to start living into the Kingdom of God on earth. The idea of the family of the Messiah people extended what family had meant. His exclamation of no Jew or Gentile, free or slave, male or female brought new hope. Caring for the poor and sick, even strangers, was a new idea, including them as children of God. Teaching  reading to everyone interested so they could read the Torah (including women, children and slaves) spread literacy. His emphasis on loyality and faithfulness taught honesty and fidelity. Retelling the story of Abraham and on to Jesus, grafted people onto the story of an ancient people. His ideas precipitated things like hospitals, orphanages, codexes leading to books, and so much more.

So eliminate all that Paul taught and started. The hordes still would invade and smash Rome. Now their ways would take over. Civilization would move backward for some length of time. It is likely that some humans would be curious and discover this and that, and a new civilization of some sort would emerge. But it most certainly would be different.

Maybe Paul and his 7 authentic letters are at the top of the list of importance to humanity.

Hell?

 N.T. Wright said that Paradise is the holding place before the new creation. Heaven and hell are from Plato, and elaborated on by medievcal Christians.

We are made in the image of God, and our job is to be image bearers. We are to be mirrors of God to the world, and of praise to God. If we refuse to be image bearers, we may have an end after several chances. There are words of destruction elimination, perishing.

The New Testament speaks of heaven and earth, of heaven coming to earth at some point. Heaven and hell are not equal and opposite.

Bart Erhman said that in the Old Testament, the point of view is God gifted us with life, and then after this life we cease to exist. God  breathed life into us, and when we stop breathing, we cease to exist. Later, there was some discussion of shoel, a shadowy place where one just exists. They didn't have the concept of a soul separate from tbe body, as that was an idea of the Greeks. about 200 years before Jesus. 

Jesus seemed to believe that the Kingdom of  God was soon to arrive on earth, at least in the earliest writings. He focused on prayers to God, good and pure behavior, and preparing ourselves for the influx of The Kingdom of God, in other words, to live here and now as a Kingdom person.

In fact, I think that is timeless advice. Otherwise  we create hell here on earth for ourselves.

It is Resurrection Celebration Weekend

A brief thought came to me this morning.

If you say you don't believe in resurrection, you rule out so much.

It means you don't believe in

• Springtime
• Butterflies
• Frogs
• Seeds
• Redemption
• Any kind of transformation
• The example of Christ Jesus.

As you know, I await some sort of resurrection in my life, as I walk out of this current agony. And I know it will come. I do not know its contours or details at this very  moment, but I know and see examples of resurrection all around me. I know a bit about how God works. With this as my shield, I walk on in faith.

Walk with me this Easter weekend and on into the yet uncreated future.

Working Through Betrayal

 A quote from Paul helped me this morning:

We are under all kinds of pressure, but we are not crushed completely; we are at a loss, but not at our wits’ end; we are persecuted, but not abandoned; we are cast down, but not destroyed.

As the story of the betrayal by my husband unfolds, the extent of it and the breadth of it are breathtaking. The subterfuge he assembled is stunning, the workings of an evil mind, a man without a conscience.

So he took everything. Now what?

As the numbness cracks, new emotions for me drip out. I have to go through this. I refuse to be crushed for the rest of my life. I have to rise from the rubble.

He took things, some irreplaceable. What is left? My faith. My God. My family, My friends. My church. My talents. And more. I still have the most important things. 

Now I dismiss him, his devious and cruel behavior hidden behind a veil of pretend love. I brush him off of my life. I encourage the hurt to heal. It will take a bit of time. I don't expect instantaneous healing. 

But when I began to find the trail of his deceit, my grief for him was gone, instantly gone. It shifted to what he took, not only my money, but the treasures I had collected from my travels, photos from my life, a lifetime of journals, manuscripts of partially finished books, paintings I did, antiques from my family, so many things that had meaning to me. Gone.

I don't do bitter. I don't intend to dwell on the past. As I heard clearly last Wednesday, "The past is done." Yet I do have to walk through the valley of pain and betrayal, not sit down and stay a minute longer than necessary, but to get on with it.

Then I know God will guide me to what I am to do with the rest of my life.

You, my spiritual friends, if you too have a valley, gather up your faith and courage and walk on through and out. There is more on the other side of the valley, I am certain of that.

Divine Presence, my Guide, my Companion, I have known You all of my life. I know You are with me, with us all. I know Your Light is within. I know we are one.

Lead me out of this valley with grace and faith. Help me keep the eye of my life on You. 

I know there is more to do. Open the door I am to walk through, so that I may serve as You would have me serve.

I release Gilbert to You, and let go. Cut all ties to him, and protect me from any further harm.

I am thankful to be in Your care and keeping all the days of my life.  I am thankful You are leading me still.

I release this all to You, in the name of Christ, sealed with the ancient seal of faith, Amen, Amen, and Amen.

Living the Bible Stories

 Through the past week I have walked with tears and prayers, facing death, betrayal and a web of lies. There have been moments of Spirit speaking to me, and therefore amazing insights have been gifted to me.

I am led to share a sketch of all of this at this time.

As Pastor Drew spoke of Easter week yesterday, when he said "Judas," tears started flowing down my face. A light of understanding swept me. I had married Judas, the trusted treasurer, the betrayer. 

One day last week, upon awakening, I heard the words "The past is done." That day I discovered all of my treasures were gone, auctioned off for nonpayment of storage in 2022. My grief shifted at once. Then a whole thread of deceit and lies and betrayal began to unravel.

I have often said over the past years I have been living the book of Job. So I knew I was living that story. I have endeavored to follow Jesus and his teachings since early childhood, to become as like him as humanly possible, and so live the Christ story..

Then I realized the meassage "The past is done," also contained the message to Lot and family, "Don't look back."

So there was Judas with betrayal, leading to agony on the cross, leading to resurrection. I'm in the process of agony, moving toward resurrection of some sort. The agony includes disorientation. The man I loved never existed, and who did exist was a villain who I did not meet until after his death..

I look forward to finding what this will lead to. I pray I can still be useful to those on the spiritual path and to those considering it, and those who run from it. 

God is lifting me right now. May God lift you this day and all days.

Gilbert's Memorial Service

 His service has been postponed due to extenuating circumstances.

He's Gone

 Early this morning my beloved Gilbert passed on. 

He took part of my heart with him. I shall miss him so much that no words can suffice to describe it.

My beloved is soaring in a new life. I remain here weeping.

I will find a way to go forward, but not today.

I See It and Cannot Stop It

 It is a disturbing and also a fascinating  time in my life. The disaster has  been coming in slow motion, a million cuts tearing apart my life.

July 30 my husband, my soulmate, had a stroke. August 2nd he had a pain in his side, a CT scan, and then the diagnosis of stage 4 peritoneal and appendix cancer, a cancer only comprising 1% of the cancers. 

Slowly he  became more and more fatigued. Slowly he ate less and less. Slowly he stopped doing things like driving, going to church, cooking his own breakfast.

Then the ascites began building up in his abdomen. 6.5 liters every 10 days to 2 weeks getting drained. A week ago they weighed him going in and out. He went in weighing 171 pounds, and a little over an hour later, after 6.5 liters were drained, he weighed 157 pounds.

Then a week and a half ago he stopped taking a shower, and he shifted to spong baths. He stopped shaving. He began to sleep more. He stayed in his night clothes and bathrobe all day.

Yet he insists he is being healed. He refuses hospice.

I think part of his deterioration is on the insurance. All the research I've been able to do says for what he has, HIPAC is the standard of treatment. I think he should have been given this option last August, while he was still stronger. I think at present, he could not survive a 10 to 12 hour surgery.

So I see the end of our 38 years together approaching. I am tearful. He is my rock, my cheer leader, my best friend. I love him with all of my heart.

I may not know you personally, but you read my thoughts, and so you are my spiritual friend. I have a request of you. Please pray for us. 

A New Understanding of the Eucharist

 This morning  I was reading a book that pointed out the traditional Eucharist, saying it's a mystery that cannot be logically explained. Something in me shouted out BUT THAT'S NOT TRUE!!! Wow. I will share what came to me.

If we look deeply at any natural thing it will lead us into the mystery in whatever direction we go - bread and wine for example. Each has a story that leads into the Mystery.

Look deeply at a piece of bread. You will see the wheat growing in the field. You will see the rain watering it with water coming from the lakes and streams  and oceans of the world evaporating up to the clouds. You will see the rays of  sunlight warming the growing wheat and activating photosynthesis. You will see the wheat take in carbon from the air and give off oxygen. You will see our orbit around the sun, the seasons created by spin and tilt. You will see our solar system, the Milky Way and the vast universe of which our bread is a part. 

You can see the roots drawing up nutrients from the top soil created over the centuries. You can see the farmer, the harvest, the mill turning it into flour. You can see the trees that make the paper for the bag to carry the flour to your kitchen.

You can see how the bread in your hand connects you to everything, and then to The Creator. You can see the story of the grape too, actually the story of everything can lead us into The Mystery.

So take the bread and wine and remember how they Connect you to the entire web of all that is.  Remember they Connect you ultimately to The Creator

Remember you too are part of it all. Everything is sacred. Let your next Eucharist be a true sacred experience of Oneness.

Messiah People

 Two thousand years ago Paul and Barnabas spent a year in Antioch teaching the new community, Christianoi said Luke in Acts. That was most likely a nickname, as Christian was not used for several generations. N. T. Wright wrote that it might even have meant something like Jesus freaks when spoken by the general population.

At any rate, it was a completely new kind of community, a never before community, a never before even thought of community. Think of Paul's statenment in Galations:  

Thereis neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

All people, across all strata of society, across all divides, all people of every kind are one in Christ according to this new idea that poured forth out of Paul's mind and his dramatic awakening. It was shocking to almost everyone of the day, but it grew and grew.

How did we get so far away from that? In not too long a time, lines were redrawn. There were limits. There were rules made up by men. There were no open and welcoming places for everyone once again. Women were demoted to be possessi0ns.Those named "other" could be treated with rejection and violence. And the great dream of the kingdom of heaven coming to earth faded far away. In fact, for many it shifted to a place after death for those who did and believed whatever the current theology decreed. The excitement and joy of these early Christianoi seemed naive. 

BUT I have long had a vision that it would be possible for us humans to create a heaven on earth. It would require a shift in consciousness, but it is really not impossible.

Shift to see all as sacred beings - all people, all animals, all plant life, the entire planet. Treat it all by thought. word, and deed as precious and sacred. Make our lives a sacrament, so that whtever we do or think or say is a testament to the Divine Presence and our part in It.

When we see evil, we help those bent (per C. S. Lewis) people to be healed, to be set free to the goodness imprisoned within. We encourage and help to create healthy, nurturing environments so people don't get bent in the first place.

We set our aim high. Even though it is aspirational, it shows us where to aim. If more and more of us try. things can and will move in the higher direction.

We're going to be here for awhile, so why not use whatever time each of us have left to aim high?

Enter the Flow

 I've been pondering how incredible it is, when we enter the flow of God. I've often said that there have been times in my life that I experienced being in God's jet stream. How do we get there? We can't force it to happen. What we can do is prepare ourselves. I think of Jesus saying no one knows the hour, and that relates to so many things.

What to do? Prepare our hearts and minds. As a pianist practices and practises to attain a high skill level, so too we on the spiritual path  need to practice. Still our minds, pray everyday, and pray without ceasing - for example thank God for the beauty you see as you walk or drive around. Disengage from the upsetting news, politics, cultural fights, etc. on a regular basis, so that we are not consumed and enraged by outer things constantly,  things that serve as a distraction from our spiritual goal.

Some people recommend, what has for some reason come to be called the Jesus prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”  I prefer to affirm rather than reinforce the negative. So, another prayer came to me this morning:

            God of all

I open to you

Fill me with Your Grace

Guide me in all ways 

Say this slowly, calmly, repeating it for a few minutes several times a day. Let Peace fill you. Let your mind be still. Let it come to mind during the day. Let yourself become more and more in tune with the Infinite, even as you walk your busy life.

 

Would You Jump Off A Cliff?

 I can still hear my mother: "If everyone was jumping off a cliff, would you just follow and jump?"

Perhaps we humans are jumping off a cliff together. With the majority of people now having internet access, and putting private information on it for the world to see, relying on it for information, and AI growing so that people have virtual friends and "love" pseudo relationships, etc. etc. etc. --- we may be jumping into huge problems together, jumping off the cliff of humanity. 

AI is obviously not fully developed yet, but it is quite convincing to many. There are little things that are amiss. For example I Googled something about 1st century Galilee. and the AI summary said it was a wealthy area - but in my studies, I know it was primarily poor peasants with literacy at perhaps 1%.

I read about a wide range of disturbing things happening via our new godlike entity, the internet. I read about not only false information,  but also such things as children  being groomed by preditors and addicted to porn; about people falling in love with their AI companion, even proposing marriage to it; about children being talked into gender dysphoria; about people being turned into terrorists; about Christianity and Judaism being subverted; about people being convinced they have entities inhabiting them or that they are animals; on and on and on go ideas and behaviors not long  thought of as psychiatric problems.

It seens crucial to me that we become aware. Use critical thinking (evaluate, hypothesize, examine, look for motivation of what you see or hear or read, make tentative conclusions, etc), notice cognitive disonance (there is tension as two or more things don't make sense together), challenge every idea we encounter, at least ideas not part of our great heritage, bearing the test of time and experience. Everything needs to be examined against what we know to be true.

At the same time, develop our inner core. Develop our relationship with God. Find a church or synagogue and participate. Spend time in nature. Spend time with real people and real conversations. Read classics. Learn or increase our abilities in a hobby or two. Spend less and less time surfing the web.

And, pray, forgive, meditate, contemplate.

All can be well with us and with humanity.

The Meaningless Crisis

The old saying - if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything - came to mind this morning. We humans seem to be in the agony of a meaninglessness crisis.

The old mores and values for many have been thrown on the scrapheap. The new anything goes culture leads to emptiness. The empty try to fill or numb themselves with outer things - consumerism, drugs, alcohol, random sex, hysterical and illogical demonstrations for things that are opposite of even self interest, or lose themselves in technology screens. They are overwhelmed by input, unable to discern what is and what is not accurate or helpful. They fall for the facism of wokeness - agree with me or be cancelled, fired from your job, excluded.

Spirit is divorced from the physical, no longer known to interpenetrate it and be part of everyday experience. Delusion of being able to control the manifest brings on a frenzy of bad ideas. Marxism, fell with the wall and the realization it was terrible inside the Ieon Curtain, but was kept alive by some so-called intellectuals. It  entered the colleges and universities and then the high schools and elementary schools. The youth are taught our amazing way of life is bad, and Marxist ideas are great. 

If God is no longer part of everything, calling us to higher ground, and is even said to not exist, nothing has meaning. One can do to their bodies and to the bodies of others and to  Mother Earth whatever enters their minds. Nothing is sacred. God is said to not be there, as creation is some sort of random accident.

I suggest it is time to offer experiential Christianity. A Christianity that moves people deeply, to feel and know the sacredness of everything - of our own bodies, the bodies of every living thing, of the earth and the cosmos. To be able to have metanoia experiences where we personally come to know the things taught by the great Avatars, personally come to know things written and known by the great mystics.

It is time to awaken our spiritual senses, to go beyond theological arguments, to have moments of entering the Great Mystery. Not entertainment pseudo-church, rock bands, and loudness. Contemplation, meditation, deep prayer, transporting music, journaling, contact with nature, readings from the enlightened, and so forth. I have had a vision of this. I hope and pray someone feels this call, or many someones. If I were not about to turn 85 in a few days, I would go for it. I may go for it in a small way. I also know the following generation can step up and turn this meaningless crisis around. I ask you, do you feel the call?

The Wonder ofIt All

 I was watching on YouTube some of the 2025 ARC (Alliance for Responsible Citizenship) meeting. The speakers are stimulating. On a panel I heard Rod Dremer speak about our loss of enchantment in the West, as we have gone to the left sides of our brains almost entirely in the past 200+ years, blocking out mystery. That is right up my alley, so I downloaded his latest book.

If the cosmos is constructed the way the ancient church taught, then heaven and earth interpenetrate each other, participate in each other’s life. The sacred is not inserted from outside, like aninjection from the wells of paradise; it is already here, waiting to be revealed. --- "Living in Wonder" Rod Dreher

Absolutely!  We live and move and have our being in the Divine More. Some of us are blessed to have moments when the veil thins or pulls apart. In those precious moments, we know and know that we know, penetrated to our core with direct filling of More. We SEE, HEAR, FEEL, KNOW, TASTE what had once seemed unknowable, even fantasy. It is because of this, that I write and speak.

I endeavor to lead others into the great and grand Mystery that I know to be true. There is way, way, way more than our physical senses focused on the third dimension on earth can ever touch. There is  a Divine Presence that we can come to know. Everything, everyone, every moment is sacred, including ourselves.

God calls from our core - awaken, listen, come to me all you who are tired and heavy laden. Open to the Mystery of More.

Rufus Jones

 One of my favorite mystics, Rufus Jones, was a modern Quaker who was filled with the Spirit. I reread his writings periodically. His"Inner Life"is overflowing with wonderfully powerful ideas in every sentence.

This morning, I've been contemplating his ideas about Pharisees and the Sermon on the Mount. He says the Pharisees' focus was on following the 600+ laws in the Torah, and doing that was their goal and their reward. It was an outward practice, do this and do that, don't do this or that. They did it because they thought they had to. They did what was required of them. There was no spontaneity, no passion.

The Sermon on the Mount, however was aspirational, inspirational, and an inner shift. Jesus tells us that we are salt, bringing savor, uplifting, all we touch. We are to pour goodness into all the channels of the world. We are to become lights of the Lord. When we are on fire with God, we draw others to us, and the fire of love ignites their souls too. We are contagious. Lighting the world with God's Love changes everything. 

It's not about following laws, about being uptight and judgemental. It's about becoming a new person so filled with God that we participate in bringing about a Godly kingdom here and now, not in some distant future. We are part of the plan. We need to awaken, rise up, and be God's unconditional Love.

I urge you to read Matthew 5, 6 & 7 with different eyes and a different heart. Realize it is not plain prose. It is Near Eastern imagery, paradox, and is rife with layers of inner meanings.

Enter the spirit of 2,000 years ago. Hear with ancient ears. See with ancient eyes. Listen intuitively. 

If you do, something wonderful will happen.

Opposite Christianity

 There are those who try to follow Christ, who are loving, forgiving, generous, endeavoring to live as instructed in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5-7.

There are those, who call themselves Christian, that are the opposite. They attack those who see Christianity as above. They are anti Catholics, anti Jews, anti homosexuals, anti other Christians, and anyone who isn't part of them. They have a paranoid belief in evil, demons, devils, invisible enemies, and they promote dark superstition. They teach outmoded beliefs, fantastically created stories about invisible things, and use scare tactics. They repeatedly predict the end of the world. They misread and misinterpret the Bible. Yet they are a growing phenomenon.

I know some people who are in Opposite Christianity.  I don't understand how they can go there. Are they highly suggestible? Are they hypnotized? Have they not learned critical thinking skills? What?

I recently heard Dr. Collins on YouTube speaking on the Hebrew scriptures. I looked up his books, and I found one called  "Weaponized Religion." I downloaded it, and found the history of what I'd been calling Opposite Christianity. (I also discovered this Collins is not the Dr. Collins I heard. But this book does make some valid points, even though it is quite disorderly and needs organization) It is fascinating, however difficult to read, as he jumps all over the place. If you are interested in this topic, I think its worth the effort in order to be informed.

I also think that when connection to the original inspiration of anything is lost, from a civilization to a religion, there is collapse. History is strewn with rubble of civilizations long gone, religions scrapped, arts, music, sciences no longer practiced. Some questions might be important to ask ourselves would be something like - is the genius of Jesus' teaching something worth reconnecting to? Is it okay to let Opposite Christianity replace it? What are we going to do about it?

the end

 There have been people predicting the end of he world for thousands of years. In Jesus' time there were apocalyptic cults with lots of followers. In scholarly circles, Jesus is often thought of as an apocalytic teacher. He put in a caveat - no one will know  when it will happen.

There have been many "teachers" over history who said they knew the time, and who gathered followers together to get ready. Often they took the wealth of the followers and disappeared. It is said that New Year's Eve, December 31, 999 C.E. people slept fearfully in churches, for they were told the world would end that night. In my lifetime, I am aware of a number of times people said the end would be such and such a date. But we are still here.

This morning I awoke with the song, "Waltzing Mathilda" singing in my mind. It always takes me to the movie, 'On the Beach." a movie about the nuclear end of humanity. It has haunted me all these many years.

Then I thought my world IS about to end. My husband has stage 4 peritoneal and appendix cancer. Yesterday the doctors drained 6.5 litersof fluid from his abdomen, and they told us to put him in pallitive care or hospice. My world, the world of us, is about to end.

Then I thought of all of the worlds that have ended for me. My childood ended. My parents died and I became a sort of orphan, although I was very much an adult. Changes, monumental changes kept happening, the world shifted, the way of my life was no longer one way and was thrust to another, endings and beginnings over and over. Some gentle shifts from one world to another, some violent. But endings never cease, along with the promise of new beginnings.

So maybe the fear-mongering shout of "the world is coming to an end", is more personal than tomorrow there will be no actual world. Of course, those in power, with hubris in their hearts, could blow humanity off the planet, but baring that, we will see our personal worlds end, over and over again. 

The questions we could ask ourselves -What will I do with this new beginning opportunity? Will I whine and complain on and on about the ending? Or will I look with fresh eyes and bravely walk into the gift of a new beginning? 

P. S. To Yesterday

 I was thinking about the various laws I mentioned yesterday. You might say "They are just Physical laws of how things work. It's science." But from where did they originate? Why are they there? How does it happen? If it all started from the Big Bang 13.8 billion years ago, where did the organizing principle come from?

Explosions don't create order. They create disaster. How is the original explosion different?

I like the old saying - to think the universe accidentally came together with all of its intricacy, is to imagine an explosion in a type factory would result in all the works of William Shakespeare in order and exact.

The way I see it, there is something More, something Divine in it all, in short, God.

Finding God

 God is always ready, but we are very unready. God is near us, but we are far from Him. God is within, and we are without. God is friendly; we are estranged. --- Meister Eckhart

How can this be true? you might ask. I'll share how it speaks to me.

•  Unready. Do we spend time in prayer, meditation, contemplation daily preparing ourselves? Do we work on ourselves to remove resentments, fears, unkindness, anger and work on living those things Paul calls the fruits of the spirit?
• Near yet far. The creative energy of God is at the heart of every whirling atom, in all of the ways the universe and nature work, as it all follows the laws set down (gravity, inertia, electromagnetism, photosynthesis, etc.) Everywhere present, omnipresent, if we have eyes to see. Spend time with a flower, learn its secrets. Really see the rolling waves, the majestic mountains. Listen to the birds celebrate and scold and sing. Move out of the asphalt and concrete world, and commune with the natural for awhile. 
• Within but without. Yes,within our souls is a constant spark of God. It resides in us. It will never leave us. Where are we? Busy mostly with nonsense. YouTube, TikTok, television, addictions, upsets, pontificating, racing here and there, busy, busy, busy, too busy for God. Or we are satisfied with someone else telling us their ideas about God once a week, even though we're pretty sure they are only mouthing something they don't know personally.
• Friendly. The only definition of God in the Bible is that God is unconditional Love. How much more friendly can one be? But we are often preoccupied, and so estranged. God is relegated to the scrap heap of ancient superstition, or is at the bottom of our priority list.
• But, we can get ready. We can see again and hear again. We can find the Spark within. We can accept the most important Friendship of all.  I know because I follow in the footsteps of those who have gone before me to a successful spiritual quest. Just set your foot on the path and begin.

Ten Ideas That Changed My Life

 

In the shower, I was thinking about some ideas that changed my life. I had just spoken one to a friend. Then I was struck by the idea that I need to share these, these ideas that have made such a difference to me and my journey, as they might change your life too. I share something precious to me.

I invite you to think on these things.

****

*  What would you do, what would you say,

If you were in the Presence of God?

Because you are!

*  What other people think of me is none of my business.

What God and I think of me is what matters.

*  Jesus told me the fruit of anything 

tells me where it comes from.

Today I stop and ask myself,

what would the fruit of doing or saying this be?

*  I am made in the image and likeness of our Creator.

It is therefore my nature to create.

If I'm not creating positive things, I'm creating a mess.

It's my choice.

*  Two important questions.

Where am I?

What time is it?

The answers: Here, Now

*  When I die, I will be asked two questions.

Did I learn to love unconditionally?

Did I complete my purpose for coming to earth?

It's our final exam.

I want to be able to say "Yes!"

*  Jesus asked, "Do you want to be healed?"

You say "yes."

What would your life look like if you were healed?

Are you willing to change that much?

*  Jesus asked us to shine our lights.

Ask yourself

Where did I shine my light yesterday?

Where will I shine light today?

*  If you need an excuse, any excuse will do.

What are the excuses I use to to explain to myself or others why I'm not being the best version of myself, doing my best to be the person God had in mind when He created me?

*  If I don't change the direction I'm going,

I'm going to end up where I'm headed.

What direction am I going?

Is it a good thing, a good place?

What do I need to do about it?

Don't Run Away

 Spirituality is not to be learned by flight from the world, by running away from things, or by turning solitary and going apart from the world. Rather, we must learn an inner solitude wherever or with whomsoever we may be. We must learn to penetrate things and find God there.  --- Meister Eckhart

 This gift from Eckhart grabbed my heart this morning. Inner solitude is often overlooked. For many the cry is that they can only be at peace if and when others shape up, agree with them, get in step, etc. Therefore they will never have peace. Many live an other directed life.

It seems to me that other directed people have a difficult time even considering the option of being inner directed, and therefore at peace.

Eckhart also said: 

Whatever I want to express in its truest meaning must emerge from within me and pass through an inner form. It cannot come from outside to the inside but must emerge from within.

What is inside makes all of the difference. Are we at peace and at home in our souls, having inner solitude, inner directed? Or are we desperate to find approval from outside, trying to get everyone in line, resentful and anxious living an outer directed way?

As inner directed people, we don't run or hide from the world. We see it with different eyes and heart. Our peace comes from God, and we participate from that place. We see the frenzy of the outer directed people as a cry for help to be lifted out of the whirl in which they live. We offer peace and love and prayer for them, but our peace is not determined by their choices. 

Ultimately the only person I am in charge of is myself. As I steer my life more and more to alignment with the More, The Divine, it all becomes ever more clear.

Peace be upon you and fill you.

 

God Calls Us to Share

 Human beings ought to communicate and share all the gifts they have received from God. If a person has something that he or she does not share with others, that person is not good. A person who does not bestow on others spiritual things and the joy that is in them has in fact never been spiritual. People are not to receive and keep gifts for themselves alone, but should share themselves and pour forth everything they possess whether in their bodies or their souls as much as possible. beings ought to communicate and share all the gifts they have received from God. If a person has something that he or she does not share with others, that person is not good. A person who does not bestow on others spiritual things and the joy that is in them has in fact never been spiritual. -- Meister Eckhart

He sees it as an imperative that we are to share our gifts with one another. It seems to me there are several ways to look at it.

We are not to be spiritually miserly for sure. What God has endowed in us is not our little secret. On the other hand, when God awareness bursts forth in us, I don't see how or why we would or could hide it. 

I do see quite a few with phony awareness, spouting nonsense as if it were the Truth. The charlatans come in every area, from art to religion. Our antennas need to be up to not be taken in. Our rationalizations need to be put to rest, so as not to be led astray.

I have some touchstones, a small list of what I absolutely know to be true. Things or people have to be consistent with them for me to take them seriously. Maybe you have such a list too. Dust it off and put it in use. It saves a lot of deadends. 

God Speaks Through Everything

 I have known for quite a long time that God/Divine Light is in all people, all animals, all plant life, all stones, all galaxies, etc.  Everything is made of whirling atoms that came from the Big Bang, The origins are present at all times, in all things. I have taught you can make a sermon out of anything you see or feel, whether it be a paperclip, a redwood tree, or a daisy.

Today fabric spoke to me and introduced me to Anais Nin. I'm making a prayer quilt, and one of the fabrics has positive sayings on it. This particular saying reminded me of one of my inspirations on "Turn" I wrote last June and spoke about Jan. 12th this year it is about unfurling oneself from the fetal position and entering the Great Mystery. Anais sooke from the facric and put it this way:

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

 In my years on this planet, I have met so so many people who are afraid to be fully themselves, to dare to do the greatness stirring inside. It is painful to hold oneself tightly in, restraining the true inner nature. How I have wished I could help the tight buds let go and be the full bloom. I suppose that I have encouraged some, some of whom did let go and let God be God in them. But, some then retreated and pulled in and let the moment pass.

If I could find the right words, I'd tell you to dare to be You. Let out your imprisioned splendor. Go for the gold. Bloom and bloom some more. Your shining bloom is needed, not only for yourself, but also for all of us. Please dear one, do it.

 

Not An Atheist

 Yesterday I watched a video of an atheist explaining why God is impossible, life continuing is impossible, for you cannot see God and cannot see beyond this life.

This morning I was thinking about color. I cannot see all of the spectrum of color, for my eyes only see a small band of color, not all of the range. Because my eyes can't see it all, does that mean it's not there? I cannot see atoms and the vast empty space of material things that physics tells me about.  Does that make physics wrong? Of course not, unless you want to deny science. I don't see love, or gravity, or hope, or fear, etc. I know them to be real.

Then I thought of moments I've seen through the veil, to see great light filled beings, to see loved ones passing, to hear words reaching me from elsewhere, maybe from another dimension. Or maybe beyond where our usual senses can sense, an extended spectrum. I thought of life after life experiences. I thought of reincarnation research. I thought of inspirations that have flooded me, so that I suddenly knew what I had never known before. 

I could go on and on. I know, KNOW, there is More than meets the physical eye. There are moments of windows opening. There are glimpses of breathtaking vistas. There are holy moments. God lives.

Simplify

 Don't try to find God. Simplify your scattered life, and become one in yourself. Then God will find you. The rest will follow. --- Meister Eckhart

If there is one thing the seeming deprivation of the last few years has taught me, it's that I  can thrive with a lot less than I'd ever thought possible,and its my soul that needs tending.  More stuff won't do it. More busyness won't do it.

I discovered that an over- abundance is distracting from the truly important things. I discovered how many hours had been wasted.

I like Eckhart's line about being one with yourself. In this day and age, it is easy to bury ones self under a pile of clutter, hoarding what we don't need, racing here and there, seeking  attention and approval from the outside, and thereby losing the  core of who we are.

If we are not at home in ourselves, how is God to find us?  Nobody is at home when God comes knocking.

Soul Gymnasium

This morning, laying half awake in bed, I was asking God about the incredible number of lessons packed into this lifetime. I saw flash before my eyes the ancient Greek gymnasium with muscular men wrestling. Then I heard, "there is also another gymnasium, the gymnasium of the soul."

"You were chosen to come to earth to develop your soul as rigorously as some develop their bodies and strive to be champions. Your striving is to develop your soul."

I recalled tellling others lately that this is not the vacation planet, that we are to develop our spiritual muscle. This insight, or revelation, this morning puts another layer on that thought.

I saw a fantastic sight of millions of eternal souls struggling to lift mental and emotional weights. I saw some clueless as to what was going on, while others were at least somewhat aware and so strived all the more. I saw some resisting, and some doing their best. I saw a whole range of reactions to the soul gymnasium.

Then I saw the last two questions as we leave this place - Did you learn how to love unconditionally? Did you complete your purpose? The final exam.

Emerson Still Speaks

 Ralph Waldo Emerson, a sampling from his essay on Providence:

Life wastes itself whilst we are preparing to live...

The world is filled with the proverbs and acts and winkings of a base prudence, which is a devotion to matter, as if we possessed no other faculties than the palate, the nose, the touch, the eye and ear...

Call a spade a spade...

 Do what we can, summer will have its flies. If we walk in the woods we must feed mosquitoes. If we go a-fishing we must expect a wet coat...

 He that despiseth small things will perish by little and little...

Let him learn a prudence of a higher strain. Let him learn that everything in nature, even motes and feathers, go by law and not by luck, and that what he sows he reaps...  

Thus truth, frankness, courage, love, humility, and all the virtues range themselves on the side of prudence, or the art of securing a present well-being.

This amazing man of  the 1800's, has so much from which we can learn. He touches us with his writing, with his ability to reach us at a deep level with timeless wisdom. This is not my favorite of his essays, yet it speaks to me as if he sits in front of me speaking his wisdom.

Take the first quote above. As we mull it over in our minds, it reveals many facets. I think of the wasted moments of my life, moments waiting, putting off rather than living with gusto. I think of silly hesitations. I have learned to have less of these wasted moments, as I came to realize the finite nature of this trip to earth.

I urge you to explore these quotes, and open to his wisdom. Then I do hope you read his essays, maybe especially "Self Reliance" and "Oversoul" - and then on to the rest.

God bless you and keep you and cause His Face to shine upon you and give you peace.

Link to my talk January 12, 2-025

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRkC6xkCBr0&t=119s 

I invite you to view my talk on Turninng to Christ that I gave yesterday at the Temecula United Methodist Church. It is filled with some of my understandings as of now. If you enjoy my writing, I think you will find my talk inspiring.

Ralph Waldo Emerson's Genius

I n rereading Emerson's essays, I am once again struck by his genius, his clarity, and his unique vision. This morning I read his essay on Shakespeare. Here is a small excerpt.

 Shakspeare, Homer, Dante, Chaucer, saw the splendor of meaning that plays over the visible world; knew that a tree had another use than for apples, and corn another than for meal, and the ball of the earth, than for tillage and roads: that these things bore a second and finer harvest to the mind, being emblems of its thoughts, and conveying in all their natural history a certain mute commentary on human life. Shakspeare employed them as colors to compose his picture.

 This leads my mind many places. I go to Jesus' statement to not judge by appearances, but judge righteous judgement. It reminds me of Meister Eckhart saying that if we sufficiently studied a caterpillar, one would have sermons for a lifetime. It takes me to the many mystics who tell us God is everywhere, in everything. It takes me to physics that say all is energy, most, maybe all,  is empty space and just vastly speeding patterns of energy, quarks and beyond. It takes me the knowing that the most important things are invisible, from gravity to love. It takes me to the incredible distance we travel each day and the speed of our collective travels, from the rotation of our planet, to its orbit around our sun/star, to the orbit of our solar system in the Milky Way, and on and on.

Clearly not all Truth is obvious, and for the most part, most of us are rarely or never aware of what is really going on. I invite you to stretch your mind today, and think on these things with me.

How Do We Define Ourselves?

 It seems to me that often people define themselves by temporary, fleeting outer things.

Is who I am my poverty or my wealth? My infirmity or my health? My sex, my height, my job? My whatever, name what you will. Is my worth tied up by the status of my associates? Is agreeing with the current trends guaranteeing my acceptance? Does keeping busy show how important I am? Am I trying to impress others? Do I need and seek approval from others? If so, the you that is you is buried under a pike of meaninglessness.

Actually there is another way to define oneself. it requires different questions.

Am I true to myself? Do I know that I am part of a universe that is Divinely inspired? Do I know that everyone and everything is part of that? Do I treat all as sacred? Do I listen to my inner guidance? Am I at home in my own soul?

If we can say yes to the second set of questions, we are immune to control from the outside. Who we are is between God and us. We are free. 

Are You a Pioneer?

 It occurs to me this morning that some few people are mental pioneers, while the majority simply go along with the masses, or with their particular subset group. 

I was rereading Ralph Waldo Emerson's essay on "The American Scholar." He makes some very profound points in it. It stimulated some thoughts in me, proded by his thoughts, thoughts from two centuries ago. 

 There are those who simply regurgetate what others have written. They are not participating in life, gaining experience that puts action into their thinking. Actually being aware of our experiences, considering their meaning and teaching, putting new ideas into practice, makes us pioneers. We let go of ideas and behaviors that life shows us to be false or at least limited. Then we continually reinvent our relationship to ourselves and to life in general, and of course to the Divine.

Things change. He gives the example of the mulberry leaf turning into silk. We could also say, the catepillar turning into the butterfly. The seed turning into the tree. The ocean turning into the rain that waters the crops that turn into our food. And on and on.

I suggest, if you've not had a new experience, a new idea, a new action lately, you're not fully living. Risk being a pioneer. Step out into this new day, never lived before, and open to the great adventure and mystery of life.

2025!

It's officially a New Year all around our planet. May it be filled with many blessings for us all. May we awaken to our inner peace and come together to create peace on earth.

In some ways this is an artificial shift. It's a new year, never lived before, yet if we don't grow and awaken, it's another string of days where we simply continue how it's always been. We have 365 days within 2025 to choose new things, or to remain stagnant, to remain hypnotized by media, to remain in our biases, and to just get by.

We can also realize that each and every moment is a new moment, never lived before, open to new and good/great ideas and activities. We can look into the adventure of such a life and create ourselves anew, to be the person we deeply want to be.

I suggest we make a list of the noble goals our souls urge. How can we, for example, be more kind, more loving, more peaceful, more compassionate, more in tune with the Infinite? When 2026 begins, can we see ourselves more of the above? Imagine yourself there. Imagine what steps you need to take to get there. Imagine actually taking those steps. Let's become that version of ourselves. Let's go for it.

Oh Divine Presence, I turn to You this moment. Show me the way to be more fully in tune with You. Lead me to take the steps that lead to You. Wash away from me all unlike the pure being You created me to be. Dissolve my false ideas, my fears, my excuses, and grant me the courage to go forward in tune with You. This is the year of my awakening. I feel it. I accept it. I rejoice in it.