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Thursday, January 28, 2016

An Other Touch of Science

Not that I am any scientific expert, but I enjoy reading some new physics books and articles. I see ever more clearly the Infinite Divine Energy in and through all that exists, here and wherever there is to be, this dimension or others.

I read this morning that it is estimated that the number of protons in the universe is 1079.  And furthermore, they are exactly alike until they interact with other particles. Only then can they be interesting and unique.

My mind went into applying that to human mental/spiritual life and how our lives become interesting and unique when in relationship.

The first relationship that came to mind is to ourselves. Know thyself has been a truth saying from very ancient times. I think we come here from a spiritual dimension, probably for different reasons, but one common purpose is to learn how to love. What happened to us to stop our purpose in its tracks?

I had a vision of a person that had been sort of paper-mached. All over were pieces reflecting memories of experiences and words that imprison us. You're  bad, You're slow, You're in trouble now, We'd be better off without you, You're no good, etc. etc. etc.

      Image result for paper mache

In my vision I saw how the pieces kept the inner light from shining out and kept relationship with self and others and God under wrap and key, The pieces of false testimony about ourselves absolutely have to go.

We can reason through it, forgive our way out of it, and stand on Truthful Ground. Each one helps take off the plastered lies about us. Our stance can then be of complete relationship with ourselves, others and God.

Who are we? I'll say what I think, and I hope you will spend some time thinking about this too.

We are spiritual beings. Our bodies are garments our souls wear in order to function in this place. When we are done on earth, Mother Earth reclaims our garments, while our Souls move on to return to spiritual domains. We are created by a God of Love and Light, of Wisdom and Forgiveness. At the core of our being (what we can know with papermache removed) there is the seed of God. No matter what anyone has said to us or done to us, there is an inner core that is holy and nags at us trying to express and shine and trying to get our attention to take action to remove the hurts glued to us.

As in my book of that name, forgiveness is the key. The act of forgiveness takes off most of the negatives plastered upon us. Then we move to being aware what amazing teachers they were, the moments, the words, the people. All has led to this day and this moment, in this moment we can claim our full life lived in Light and Love. As in Aikido, we can say with gusto, Thank you for testing me.

I come today, ready to remove the negative thoughts and memories plastered all over me. Lord, show me how to forgive. I know I need to forgive myself for times I faltered. I know I need to forgive all others for times long gone. I hear the wee small voice calling me to come out from under this burden of carrying past negatives with me. I yearn to be free and come to life fully conscious of the Light within and to shine it wherever I am. I go into the Silence and listen for Your Guidance.

Monday, January 25, 2016

Keep On Keeping On

As some of you know, these past couple of years, up until and including today, has been a time of mega-challenge.It has been my quest to not allow it to change who I am, to make me bitter, resentful, angry, etc. I relate quite closely with Job in the Old Testament. Almost everything has been stripped away, none of it due to anything I did, but due to a strange combination of people, Acts, Agencies and secrecy.

In my case, different from Job, all still exists, it is simply frozen, not accessible to me. There seems to be an element of torture in that the word comes that all is to be released, then nothing happens. There doesn't seem to be anything I can do, say, think, or be to make the powers that be get out of my life.

Some of it is related to things I am not able to speak of. We have gotten Congressmen, Inspector Generals and other high mukymuks involved, but here we are still frozen. Any moment it is supposed to be over. We are told it has moved forward, and almost done. One last thing.

I can taste it. I know how it will feel. All of my life returned. I miss my dishes. I miss my savings account. I miss the freedom I once had. My heart does ache for "it" to be over and restoration the light of the day.

In the meantime, God and I have a lot of conversations. I keep working on creative projects. I participate as much as I can. And I eagerly await the moment when the freeze is over. So far I have been able to keep my faith, my sense of humor, my hope.

We all have challenges. We all have choices. We can become stronger and more faith-filled or become weak, victims living in fear, Daily I choose the former. I cannot lose myself. I cannot let "them" win. So, I keep on keeping on.

Sunday, January 24, 2016

A touch of science

I'm reading a new book, "Teilhard's Mysticism: Seeing the Inner Face of Evolution," and finding it fascinating as the scientist and mystic merge. This afternoon I am struck by the following thought:

They have noticed that elements found in outer space 
are the same as those present on Earth.
Ordinary matter found both on Earth and in the stars is composed of intricate combinations of a handful of particles, protons, neutrons and electrons; 
all matter, it seems, is essentially made from the same stuff.

Everything is made of the same elements. We are kin with everything that exists. And furthermore, these elements keep circulating so that, for example, we each have atoms that have once been in every other person who ever lived. We walk into a room, we breathe, sneeze, cough, laugh, etc. and our atoms are shared with all others in the room. We leave the room with atoms that entered the room in each of the persons present and they each leave with ours and everyone else's. We are in a flow of life that is constantly circulating, forming, re-forming.

Not only spiritually, but also physically, we are One. Knowing that, we know that when someone hurts, it hurts us. When someone is uplifted, we are uplifted. Ripples of life, connections connect us with or without our permission. There is no "they." There is another part of ourselves. We are one. In the Christian model, we are part of the body of Christ, as the pastor said this morning and Paul said 2,000 years ago.

Reflecting on Oneness takes on new dimensions and leads to expansion of understanding. Let us dare to so reflect and move into awareness of Oneness. A big mystic step.

Friday, January 22, 2016

What Do We See?

I agree with Teilhard de Chardin when he said : It is essential to see, to see things as they are and to see them really and intensely, to see God everywhere... in all that is most hidden, most solid, and most ultimate in the world. He described the Divine Presence as pervasive and perceptible as the atmosphere in which we are bathed.

In my book, "What On Earth Is Going On? Spiritually Speaking," I endeavor to make the same point and remember that it is written that Jesus frequently talked about having eyes to see and ears to hear. What we are called to see and hear is the Presence, the Divine Presence. It is a puzzle for me that seemingly so few people actually go on this quest, but rather settle for what someone else says about the spiritual and judge by appearances rather than what Jesus called, "righteous judgment."

Teilhard was a priest and a scientist and was able to articulate the oneness of science and spiritual reality. 

Let's just take one little thought that illustrates a bit of this. The table in front of me seems solid. Things sit on it. Nothing goes through it. No light seems to penetrate it. It is called "solid." But, we also know that it is made up of speed demon atoms that move at incredible speeds, and as we go deeper, we discover that this table is actually mostly empty space. Just as the fan that keeps us cool with blades that spin so fast that it looks like a disc, the atoms in the table moving swiftly make the table seem solid. Then I wonder, how do they keep spinning? What keeps them in this shape, at least for a very long time? What holds them together? I move to being in awe of all things visible. Surely some grand Intelligence is at work.

Perhaps in our "concrete jungles" we have lost touch with the wonders of creation and cannot rediscover it during two week vacations to manufactured "fun" zones. We have to try harder than those who live more closely to nature.

A powerful mediation can be contemplating, being with a flower or a tree or a snail. Can we see God there? Can we then expand so that finally we can know that we live and walk and work and move within and as the Divine Presence?

Friday, January 15, 2016


Richard Rohr wrote: Christian maturity is the ability to joyfully live in an imperfect world.

As we watch the strife in the world unfold on our televisions and tablets, we search for something that is witness to the glories of goodness. As we look over the twists and turns of our own lives, we also see a mixture of strife, failures, pain, joy, successes and healing.

It is humbling. The ego doesn't like it. The ego wants to tell us we are superior and arrogantly judges all others.

No matter how we try to ignore it, cover it up, deny it - we are all works in progress. We have received many bruises as we stumble through this gauntlet of earth. If we look honestly, we can see that this is so for every single person who has graced the lands of earth.

We honestly can say that this is an imperfect world, at least at this moment and every prior moment, and probably every future moment too. We do the best we can, at least most of us do. I know there are those who try to do the worst they can - we see them in sharp detail perpetrating horrors upon their sisters and brothers, earthmates.

Yet, none of this should stop us from living joyfully. Joy is deep in our soul, a reflection of God shining through us when we give permission. We can look imperfection in the face and shine joy back to it. 

Light ends darkness. We can be Joyful Light

Tuesday, January 12, 2016


In the 12th century the great Hildegard of Bingen became a Renaissance woman. I say this because she was an abbess, a mystical writer, a mystical composer, artist, healer, leading expert on herbs and remedies, and renowned throughout much of the known world. She did things that women could not do in those days. She amazes me, astounds, inspires, and has for many decades since I first discovered her. To all truly on a spiritual quest, I highly recommend reading about her, reading her writings and listening to modern musicians who create transcendent recordings with the music that she wrote so long ago. Even Pandora has a Hildegard station. I love it!

I was contemplating the above quote today. Imagine with me that we are vessels that God has filled with inspiration for us to employ in order to participate in this creation and do our part in perfecting it. How often do we feel the nudge of inspiration and endeavor to push it away? How often do we feel that nudge and welcome it?  How often do we pretend that we are unworthy to be God's vessel and co-creator? How often do we accept the incredible gift of being God's vessel and step up to do our part in making this a better world? 

So often in my life, inspiration has hit. I am overcome with the NEED to write something, draw something, or do something or the other. When I write, I am aware, especially upon re-reading the words, that it comes from a far wiser place. I am certain that what Hildegard says is accurate: A human being is a vessel that God has built for himself and filled with his inspiration so that his works are perfected in it.

What if we insert our name to make it hit home more fully, and contemplate these words until they fully reveal their meaning to us: 

I (Marlene) am a vessel that God has built for himself 
and filled with his inspiration so that his works are perfected in it.

I (             ) am a vessel that God has built for himself 
and filled with his inspiration so that his works are perfected in it.

I humbly come this day to surrender false modesty and fully embrace You, Lord.
I am ready and willing to experience Your inspiration in me.
I am ready and willing to walk the steps in order fulfill my participation in Your Creation.
I am Yours.

Friday, January 8, 2016


I just read a book about The Silence that I find baloney.

As a person who has entered the Silence in various forms most of my life, and who has been meditating, using a variety of methods, since the 60's, I do know something about the Silence.

With regular quiet times of meditation, contemplation and prayer, the ego mind stills. Once the ego mind stills, there is an openness to commune with The Divine Presence - the still small voice, becomes clearer and louder.

By the ego mind, I mean our little selves, our racing thoughts, mostly of nonsense - thoughts about this and that dancing and judging and fearing and worrying, etc. It is about us - we are the imagined center of all that is. It keeps us busy so we don't deal with our actual Spiritual Essence.

But, with a meditative practice, the ego mind slows down and eventually vanishes, at least for the most part. I have found that this is absolutely necessary in order to go into deeper awareness. Once the ego mind slows, the Spiritual Core of us quickens and we eagerly spend time in the Silence. Once our mind stills, we live our lives with deep roots in The Silence, even when out and about in the din of crowds and busy motions of those around us. We discover that this Spiritual Core found in The Silence is real and is always present whether we sit in our meditative time or we engage in activity. We can hear guidance, know things, and experience wholeness no matter where we are.

In order to get there, it is relatively simple.

  1. Spend 20-30 minutes every day doing whatever technique of meditation you like (mantra, counting your breaths, chanting, centering prayer, etc.)
  2. Spend as much time as possible, at least 15 minutes reading inspirational books.
  3. Journal stream of consciousness for 10 minutes or more - that is write whatever without censoring, just keep writing. Later read what you wrote.
It is however not easy, because we must discipline ourselves to do it - regularly, daily, always. It means we cultivate patience as it takes as long as it takes, but do not expect the first week you will become a great mystic. Realize it is a lifelong practice. It takes commitment, desire and letting go of any fear of The Spiritual Truth. It means we risk having to let go of dogmas that are filled with error.  It means we have to be willing to be made new and live in Oneness. The result will be a magnificently whole other kind of life experience.

God is found in The Silence. The noise is ego and drowns out most of the still small voice. 

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

What Can I Do?

What can I do about the horrid turn of events in the world? 

This morning I cried when I heard that 100 women in Munich and Hamburg, Germany were raped by 1,000 "refugees" on New Year's Eve. I wept for the women and how awful it was for them. I wept for the "refugees" who have sunk so low and far away from knowing God's Light and Love. I wept for our leaders who are so ineptly handling the turn of events. I wept for the helpless feeling so many of us feel - what can we do?

I know that the horror in so many places on our planet is mostly due to the lack of genuine relationship with God, with others and with oneself. I know that God is Love, and all that is not Love is from distorted human ego and hurt, unhealed people, dark and misleading understanding of religion, and the substitution of the religion business for spirituality. 

So, I guess the real questions might be - How can genuine spirituality become alive and well among the people of earth? Can it happen before it is too late to turn it all around? 

How can the depths of the spiritual experience be taught, caught, desired, common, etc? Can we walk away from the religion business and walk into the quest for awakening? Can we give up the erroneous stories, boogeymen, and distortions that have happened in our paths? 

Christ consciousness, for example, is not taught or spoken of in the religion business establishments. Knowing God directly is not mentioned. The Oneness of creation is not brought up. The great, inspiring words of the mystics are rarely quoted. Talk of silence is silent. We have gone astray.

Jesus, who became Christed, told us the Father within did the work. Don't call me good, it is the Father within. The kingdom is within.You will do greater things than I did. And accomplish all the requirements of religion by LOVE - the Great Commandments. Have we heard this lately from the lips of so-called religious leaders? Have we mulled them over and deeply considered what this means for our lives? What changes do we need to make?

It seems to me, we absolutely must find a way to start an awakening of deep spirituality before the crazies who have bought the phony stories destroy the planet and all upon it.

Lord, I realize now is the time. I can wait no longer. The fuse on earth is burning down with the crazed behavior of so many running loose and doing dastardly deeds. Lead me to heal all darkness in me. Draw me into the heart of spiritual life. Make a contagion of spiritual awakening spread across the lands. Lead us to lift, shine light and be Your Love here and now.

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Accuracy of Communications or Not

This morning I was thinking about all kinds of communication and how we may or may not strive for accuracy.

There is the communication wherein the person projects their viewpoint on us in various ways. One irritating, to me, example is the person who almost always says "you" rather than "I." "You know how it is, when 12:30 comes around you just have to stop everything to have lunch." No, I don't. That is NOT accurate.Perhaps it is a bit more irritating to me than to some people, because when I was little, my mother often told me (if I was crying, upset, happy, whatever) "You don't feel that way!" Yes I DO!

Then there is the projection where the person assumes you have the same political, religious, ecological, food or whatever point of view as them. Of course they have not spent time in real conversation where things actually get to be understood, to find out if you really are a liberal/conservative/libertarian/socialist or some original blend. I had this situation when I was a pulpit clergywoman. Some people were sure I was a Democrat while others were equally certain that I was a Republican. I never spoke of politics in church, however, so no one really knew and never asked me either. Guessing is not accuracy. It was fascinating to watch.

Some people, like me, are pretty much an open book. Ask me anything, and if I know it, I'll tell you. I know that perceptive people suspected this or that anyway, and ultimately you cannot hide who you are. Your consciousness is showing. I "dare" to write this blog where I bare my soul. Some may be intrigued, some upset, some happy about what I write. So be it. I write who I am at any given moment in time, knowing I am an unfolding, awakening spiritual being having a human experience. What I write next year, or years past or tomorrow changes because I do. I will always tell you the Truth as I know it, being accurate as best I can in any moment of time. At the same time I am definitely a work in progress. No one can call me stagnant. Circumstances don't deter me from seeking, learning, exploring, and growing.

Some people are very private, guarded, closed books as much as is possible. They share little of their depths, their history, their glories and defeats, their joys and their pains. They don't realize that even so, people know a lot about them, because you really and truly cannot hide your consciousness. They try to mislead by being closed mouthed. However, as I said, it only partially works. Worse, it deflects intimacy. It keeps people away, at arms length.

There are others who purposely give crooked communications as a control mechanism. They want something from us. They are selling the latest snake oil. They want our money. They want sex. They want us to do what they want. Watch out for them. They can take a great deal before we wake up to what's happening. They try to put us in the victim position, delaying as long as possible our clarity about what is really going on.

It would behoove us to develop our sixth sense, to pay attention to our intuition, when dealing with life. If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. If it seems they are playing us, they probably are. If they speak and act with inaccuracy, alert, alert, alert.

I think we need to strive to be as accurate and honest as possible in our lives. If we don't want to share something, just say "no, I do not wish to talk about the_____."  That is accurate and honest. If we do wish to share, be as accurate as possible. If we do this, I'm pretty sure our relationships will grow, expand, deepen and be even more wonderful than they are right now.