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Sunday, April 29, 2018

Tolstoy and Love

I'm fascinated by the ideas of Leo Tolstoy in his little book, The Kingdom of God Is Within You. He shares a number of mind-stretching ideas.

One concept I'm rolling around in my head involves his ideas around the misunderstanding of Christianity. The rational man thinks that all that is needed is moral ethics, so throw God and Christianity in the trashbin of discarded superstitions. Partly this is in the line of reasoning that says humans can, without religion, expand love to ever larger groupings from self to family to village to nation and on to the abstract idea of humanity. History belies this, however.

Partly this is based on the mistaken idea that Christianity is just a bunch of rules, myths, control techniques, the bureaucracy of the church, etc. (Christianity as an organization may be those things, but Christ is not.) Partly it is based on the idea all we need is communism, socialism or some other ism. Partly it is based on the mistaken idea that being a Christian does not require any changes in thought, word or deed.

But, if we go back to Christ, we see love, deep inner kingdom Love. We see that being a follower of The Way is profoundly transformative. We are made New. We love because within is the Seed of God and so it is our nature to love. Our love is inclusive. We love life. We love earth. We love God. As Paul said the Christ within is the hope of glory. We need to step into the awareness that was Christ's and live from the kingdom of God within us.

God within my soul, lead me to Your inner kingdom. Lead me to be a flowing fountain of your Love. Transform me into Your very own.

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Signs of Death

It's another quick thought day. I'm off to teach dyeing, fabric that is. Sharing this with a friend yesterday, her mind jumped to the end of this life, and then she began laughing at the idea I was teaching how to die. That led me to ponder some thoughts on this. How similar in many ways are our entrance and our exit. And maybe there is a need to prepare for our exit.

When we enter this life, our grand entrance is various - early, late, breech, head first, slow labor, quick labor, etc. When we leave earth, that process is also various.

The mother is usually notified of the birth process by pain, water bursting or surgery date. Having been with many at their passing, I know quite a few had an intuition that such a day was near, even if there did not seem to be any physical signs. It's rather like we have an inkling about our expiration date.

One way to consider this the death process is to view it in some way similar to birth, but in reverse. The labor of Death includes a wide variety, from pain to timing. We are also in death going through a birth process into the next dimension. Some slip easily through the tunnel of Light. Some resist mightily. There is a time for each of us to exit here and go there, to the next phase of life eternal. I wish for us, whenever that time comes, we can leave here and enter there gracefully and consciously.

So off to dyeing fabric as thoughts of dying swirl around.

Have a great, blessed day.

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Wits End

Just a quick thought.

When one feels rock bottom, at wits end, cornered, what then?

The depth of one's character is on display at such a time. Is it rising above, slogging on overcoming; or is it curling in the corner of defeat?

Perhaps everyone has the opportunity to test one's metal at least once in each lifetime.

Lord make us victors of such time.

Saturday, April 21, 2018


Many decades ago I came to realize that Infinite Intelligence would not, could not, be offended by my questions or by me seeking higher understanding.

When I was a freshman in college, I read books that made it clear to me that men had made up religion, and their understandings were flawed not only because of their incomplete knowledge, at times also because of control and power issues, but also in many cases they were simply parroting what had been said by others with no critical analysis whatsoever. I realized this was further complicated by translation problems and the inability to understand cultures and ways of those long ago people about whom the stories are told. This is not to disparage those scattered mystical Lights that pop up in the flow of time. The mystics were filled with gnosis and left us hints of the paths to explore. I have been given immeasurable aid by many such as:  Hildebrand von Bingen, Meister Eckhart, Jacob Boehm, Brother Lawrence, Mechtild of Magdeburg, Julian of Norwich and many more. And I've been assisted by early ones like Lao Tse, later ones like Thomas Kelly, scholars like Crossan, Borg, Fox, Rohr and hundreds of great and challenging thinkers.

My quest has led me to a rather Gnostic place. I want to know God, not just what others have said about God. I walk a path that is more about interiority than it is about the exterior. And I endeavor to urge others to the gnosis of all things spiritual.

It came to my attention yesterday that it makes a newer person to this path a bit queasy. All the surities are no longer sure. The solid beliefs are just beliefs. The search to know, to know inside and personally is exciting, yet it comes with a tinge of fear. Once begun, the quest will not be ignored. It calls us in profound ways.

I urge you to seek onward, courageous in your quaking heart, yet dedicated to KNOWING. I can promise you it is worth it. Bless you dear friend.

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Knowing - Gnosis

I have come to believe, actually know, that there is an interior space in us all that is an unbreakable connection to the Divine. At the center, the core, of us all is what I call the Temple in the soul.

This is rarely taught, especially after history's turn to the rational, scientific worldview. Most religions teach rules and symbols that imprison the inner Temple so that faith in what they say replaces knowing. Yet a smidgen of knowing creeps through. Who has not said, after making a poor choice, "I knew I shouldn't have done that?" Who has not had moments of intuition and inspiration that seem to come from nowhere? Our gnosis cannot be completely shut out.

Joaquino da Fiore, in the middle ages, predicted that the age of the Son had superseded the age of the Father, and it would be superseded by the age of the Holy Spirit. A hint about what that would mean could be found in other words for the same thing - Comforter, Guide, that which Jesus told us he would send to us to lead us to do greater things, etc. I hope he was correct and we can find our way there.

I propose that in our inner Temple there is a direct connection to Holy Spirit. Part of our quest then is to find a way to that inner holy spot, to listen, to surrender to the Greater, and in the great paradox find ourselves and our freedom, freedom from the mass psychosis of the world and outer forces.

There a sort of insane frenzy that overtakes groups of people. We can see it in history. From Nazis to Hannibal to Pol Pot, wars, invasions, tortures, burnings and hangings. Religions, power greed, insane leaders who shout from their egos lead cultures off cliffs into ugly and evil times. When we cut off connection to Holy Spirit, we humans follow the loudest voice and their rules.

I have heard soldiers, death camp guards, and machete wielding killers later express remorse and say that they knew it was wrong, but got caught up in the frenzy. In our own ways, maybe not that extreme, we get caught up in the world's insanity. We let "news" or politics or some orator lead us astray from our quest to be free and awake spiritually. The Holy Spirit then becomes a faint Voice, shouted down by the voices of the darkness.

I see humanity treading on dangerous ground right now. We have it in our power, because of the devastating weapons we have created, to end history, to end humanity, to end most or all life on earth. I think our salvation from ourselves involves leaping into the Age of the Holy Spirit. Leap with me.

Monday, April 16, 2018

Spiritual Growth, Enlightenment, Spiritual Awakening...

I've been giving a lot of thought to my spiritual growth and to spiritual growth in general. I ponder the why of the seemingly small attention to this, when it is in my mind of vital importance not only to the quality of life here and now, but also to our ongoing journey. There seem to be several groupings in regard to this.

There are the already decided, sometimes called fundamentalists, although they really do not go back to the fundamentals of the beginnings of whatever religion they observe. This group sees no need for growth, because their belief is firmly set. They react, sometimes violently, to those who see anything beyond.

There are are post-Enlightenment people who have given ultimate understanding to science. They throw out the great myths and their deeper meaning simply because they have been proven to not be possible scientifically --- a woman made pregnant by a white elephant's trunk piercing her side,the entire world under water, a sea parted, a woman made pregnant by the Holy Spirit, etc.

There are those who are just exhausted by all of this and just throw up their hands. They decide all one needs is to be kind and moral, or to fight everyone, or to worship celebrity, or to make sports their religion, etc.

Yet, I am certain that a spiritual yearning calls from the depths of each and every person.

I'm working on a program to include the whole person to be engaged in the more of life, of Life. Body, Mind and Spirit there are things to do to open to the Great Mystery. I'll just give a bare bones idea of this right now:

  • Body - Take care of it. You need it to walk around earth. Appreciate it. Feed it healthy foods. Take it for a walk. Love it.
  • Mind - Feed it too. Read new ideas. Stretch it with deep thinkers. Learn to meditate and calm the restlessness it otherwise exhibits. Deal with the shadows. Heal with forgiveness and facing fears and false beliefs that once seemed true, but are not. The child made many decisions with limited input that still pop up from the subconscious. Relish your amazing mind.
  • Spirit - Meditate every day. Take a deep breath. Study the great Masters, Saints, thinkers of all religions. Journal. Realize that most of our beliefs come from our culture and families and we would have different beliefs if we were born elsewhere with different families. Examine, ponder, contemplate, explore - move into the Infinite, Unlimited Divine One.
Become a spiritual adventurer. Risk going beyond where we are now to open and embrace more. God is All. There is so much to know and experience. Rich clues are strewn about us. 

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

DNA Is Calling

I know this may be a metaphor, so just hang in with me a moment. The thought that struck me recently is about one of the reasons to hold on and hang in there as we walk this strange valley that has been our journey the past 4 years+. The echoes of DNA in my being urge me to fulfill my dreams not only for myself, but also for my ancestors, to in my own way fulfill their lost dreams.

For example, my grandfather on my mother's side had a vision of building and creating new ways to build homes and other buildings. He was well on his way; then his partner did him out of all of his money, and he decided somehow that a gun shot to his head would be the best solution. So he didn't get to go forward to his dream. This disaster went on forward so that my grandmother, my mother, my aunt, etc. were not able to go for their dreams either, or so they told themselves. My father's mother died of a burst appendix when he was 7 and his fortunes took a downward spiral. He wanted to be a physician, but his wicked step mother and all that transpired ended his dream. And then his woundedness joined with my mother's woundedness, and they entered a shared PTSD in a time when there was no help, little psychological or spiritual help, when psychological problems were disgraceful.

As for me, in spite of incredible odds and the slings of dark energies thrown in my way, the attacks and strange twists and turns, I have realized some of my dreams. I am thankful.

My husband and I have a big dream we share and are on the threshold of being able to go for it. The impetus is possibly not just our dreams, but also the echoes of dreams of our ancestors present in the DNA they gave us. Then also, there are the murmurs in the collective unconscious from them and from countless others, to set our sails for a big dream and see what we can do to manifest it.

I feel we are about to enter an extremely exciting time, bursting with possibilities. May great dreams come true.

Tuesday, April 3, 2018


It came and went, that day that marks the years of service on this planet. My biggest gift was that my husband got released from the hospital that evening. It was Good Friday this year. I was blessed to talk with both of my children. 59 people on Facebook typed in good wishes.

We grow old, or is it ripe or mature? Or we grow juvenile, as all those people demonstrating and organizing against sponsors of people that hurt their feelings. Just because someone hurt their feelings, they rail in fury. We progress or regress - life is not static.

We deal with our shadows or are controlled by them. When we are not at peace, it would do us well to look into our own shadows and do some in depth inner work. Otherwise we just flail along, out of control and lost from the deep center point within.

The juveniles of whatever actual age seem to be trying to lead us to destruction. Free speech, free thinking and even freedom itself are under attack from those who have not dealt with their shadows. Lord, lift them and give them clear sight. I know it is urgent, but still possible. Help us Lord.

Monday, April 2, 2018

Over the Ages

Sometimes I like to exercise my mind, take a mental walk or run a mental marathon. Right now I am doing this by reading and contemplating two of the greatest Christian minds of their day - Origen from 2nd and 3rd centuries, and John Dunne Scotus from the 13th and 14th centuries.

John argues God is first cause, his arguments relying heavily on Aristotle. It is clear, as I read his treatise, how deeply intertwined Greek philosophy is with Christian theology. For one thing, there is scarcely a page without Aristotle's name. In the day when Greek thinking was considered the highest, it is no wonder Aristotle, Plato, Stoicism, etc. found a home in the minds of Christian thinkers. It was the context in which they lived.

Origen rather humbly tried to reason against various "heresies" of his day, saying if anyone has better ideas, he will accept them.

Just a couple of Origen`s ideas this morning. The Holy Spirit has given Wisdom always, from the beginning, but only the prophets and great Holy people were able to hear. Christ's gift gave the Holy Spirit to everyone.

He argued against Marcion' s ideas, for example that there were two gods, the Old Testament God of judgement and fury and the Second Covenent God of Jesus, the God of love and forgiveness. Origen was certain there could only be one God, but understanding grew, and broke open through the Christ understanding poured upon the world.

He thought that since God created all, all creatures had a soul. He posited that the soul was between Spirit and body. That reminded me of Ernest Holmes' trinity - Spirit/First Cause/Mind/Superconsciousness; Soul/subconscious/servant; and body/result/Son. In his model, all began in the 1st set, moved through the 2nd set to produce the 3rd set. So all began in Spirit, moved through Soul to produce the Son. Substitute any of the words in the sets, and you have a working understanding of the creative process.

We, the two legeds of this planet, have long pondered the wonders of it all. Our musings have taken many directions. We arrive today without conclusive results, no final answer. Perhaps it is the journey we take to exercise our minds that is the point. It's all too vast for finite humans to fully comprehend. At least we can come to know we don't know, and neither does anyone else. We come to the place with no heretics to stamp out, just people thinking in the context of their culture, occasionally able to peek beyond.

I seek to peek beyond and open more fully to the Great Mystery.