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Sunday, August 18, 2013

A Lesson In The Night

During the night, I was awakened by a "message." It was incredibly clear and pointedly what I needed to know. I share it here so that when you need to know this, it is here for you too.

Being present in the moment gives you that moment as always part of you. Not being present leaves you yearning for what you just could have had if you had just been there to fully experience it.

So --- you cannot always be eating lobster or having great sex or watching the sunset on the North Shore, but they are more with you in a special way than if they were physically present right now. There is no way, for example, that you could eat lobster 24/7 so that the taste would always be with you. But because you've been in the moment various times when you ate lobster, the taste in fact is with you.

Greed and addiction for something comes from not being in the moment and so not filled with experience of that moment. The person then wants more and more and more without ever allowing the precious millisecond to become alive and filled by being present moment by moment.

The same with Cosmic moments. You cannot function on earth and always be in the Light - seeing - hearing - knowing. But you have been fully present for these moments in your life, and so they are present and part of you at every moment.

All things depart. All is transient, save God. Yet all things with which you have been fully present live in you as part of you. 

So the paradox - all is temporary on earth; all you fully experience lives on in you.

The moments of your life bring you to tears and laughter and inspiration - and they are always going on.

I see! There IS NO time or space. It IS all NOW! I am filled. It simply is.

The ideas I've known, the physics, the metaphysics, the philosophy, the theology have come together in me, knitted into a flash of NOW. I can only hint, but you can grab the hint and know too.

Friday, July 19, 2013

My Wheelhouse

It has been a time of reflection and returning for me.

In the morning I go out onto our screened in patio and read, write and contemplate. The birds sing to me. The breezes whisper. I reconnect with that which is deeper and also infinite.

For sometime I took a detour into a dead place spiritually and for all the wrong reasons. I was trying to be accepted by someone who rejected me fiercely for not following the path he followed. I didn't see it the time, but with 20/20 hindsight I see it now.

The dead flowers fall from the branch, but the unenlightened worship the dead flowers, and miss the essence altogether. Amidst the dead flowers, I lost some of my awareness of God with me, of the essence of what Is. I missed my immediate relationship with God so much that I finally exploded so to speak and left the dead place.

The modern day Pharisees and Sadducees focus upon the outer and the rules and the judgments and miss the essential nature of the teaching of whatever so-called religion we might discuss. Religion is not about dogma and rules. Religion is about dropping the frantic ego and outer dances to be. Religion is about knowing God here in this lifetime. Religion is about direct, immediate, awareness, knowing, communion, awakening, entering the Infinite here and now. It does not fit into any words.

That is my wheelhouse. That is where I thrive and expand and thrill. Life awake in God is the soul's delight. It is where weary ones yearn but do not know the way. So few "leaders" have gone before to lead, to share the Light by being with the Light. Most are just nice humanists who want followers and money to fund their salaries and buildings and pet projects. Give me a Krishna, a Buddha, a Christ, an Eckhart, a true mystic or anyone awake, and I will celebrate.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Concern for Our Shared Future

I almost shudder to check the morning news nowadays. It seems like daily there is another scandal involving our government that comes to light, and not little ones that titillate, but huge ones that affect us all.

As a world traveler seeing other ways of being a people, I have come to love our nation and our freedoms even more. I have been proud of us and who we have been and what we stand for.

Now I am a bit confused and concerned. Of course I know we have never been told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. For various security reasons, this would not be possible.

However, I am in hope that groups of good American citizens have not historically been targeted by governmental agencies because of their political affiliation with the out of power party. I am in hope that it is not a long standing activity to monitor us all and all of our communications. I am in hope that the lies around Benghazi are not an example of regular policy. Shall I continue? Well, you have other things you can add to the list, but by now I trust you get my drift.

In this confusion, I hear people voicing their fear of speaking out now that they know about these possibly sinister things going on. The old conspiracy stories are getting new legs in light of recent news. Perhaps our nation is no longer our historical nation. 1984 comes a few decades late, but comes nevertheless.

It seems to me we are in dire need of prayer as a people right now. I hope you will pray with me.

Infinite God, I am filled with thankfulness that You inspired our founding fathers and mothers with the new idea of how to be a nation together. I see Your handiwork in the words, documents, ideas and actions of the great ones that founded our nation.

This day I come to You with a heavy heart, concerned about the continuing of the original intentions You inspired in our founders. I see signs that deeply worry me. God, I ask that You speak in the minds and hearts of today's leaders across this nation and reignite the vision of liberty and justice and Godliness in our nation. Lead them to correct the wavering course of our nation back to alignment with You. If there is anything You would have me do, lead me to know what it is and guide me to act in the Light of the Highest and Best.

I am deeply grateful to know You hear my prayer always. I know that it is a seed planted in Infinite Soil and is even now in process of coming into form. I release it to You for Your perfect action and seal it in the ancient seal of faith as I say Amen, Amen and Amen.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Social Controls

Last year I think I mentioned re-reading Eric Hoffer's book "True Believer" which had been required reading back in the day in a number of college classes. He talks about how people get into an organization and give up their minds and hearts and become sort of robotish.  I was also looking in the garage for my social control textbook, but it is still in some unknown box.

Basically social controls are the ways people and people as organizations or governments control people. 

I listened to the tapes of the study of American prisoners of war in the Korean War and was fascinated to hear that they took out the 10% who were leaders, putting them in armed to the teeth camps, and the other 90% were easily controlled with a few guards and a couple of dogs.

I listened and learned after the fall of the Soviet control as I traveled throughout the former Soviet Union. Stalin was a genius of control. One thing he did was encourage and reward the turning in of neighbors, friends and relatives. He built apartment buildings where everyone on a floor shared the same kitchen and kitchen table. If anyone went to the government and said someone said some anti-Stalin thing at breakfast, the unwary person was never seen again. Fear made it so that fewer and fewer people spoke out and more and more were falsely accused for the rewards given to the snitch.

One cannot help but note the beginning of such a trend at many levels here. Think on the latest scandals of bugging the press, accusing press of treasonous behaviors, IRS targeting of people with other than liberal ideas and more. And this trend of liberal behavior is being carried on in other ways in organizations across the country. If a conservative appears, they are fair game. 

From the point of view of an observer of human activity, it is absolutely fascinating. From the point of view of a person who cares about it all, it is terrifying.

I am hoping and praying eyes will open and this trend will be stopped before it is too late.

Look around and think and see and stand up for freedom, please!

Lord, You have shown me disturbing patterns. I ask that You inspire people who are in a position to do something to stand up and end this trend infecting our nation. Thank You for the gift of being born in this free nation with many wonders and blessings. Help us all to protect it, its institutions, and its values.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

The Path Narrows

One of the ways I look at the journey down this path of life is how it narrows the more conscious one becomes and how there is less tolerance for deviation.

I am not here speaking about the conscious mind and subconscious or unconscious mind. I am discussing here an unaware person vs a person who is more aware, more awake to Spiritual Realities.

A person who is mostly unconscious has many people who pick them up, forgive them, help them get going again and again and again. They may veer off the path 100 times and then back on 1. Little is expected so they are given a wide berth. They sort of stagger down the path of life.

A person who has worked and prayed and meditated and forgiven and studied and is fairly conscious most of the time is not given the wide berth. This person can be judged quite harshly if say there are 100 things done well and 1 done poorly, if there are 100 kind words and 1 harsh word, if there are 100 good deeds and 1 not so good. Others often are quite harsh to the person when the 1 time comes up. The acceptable path has narrowed.

In many ways this is helpful. The fairly conscious person desires to be more conscious and so takes note seriously that the sidestep is a teacher and the consequences much more extreme than for an unconscious person. Practices that lead to being more alert and careful and more conscious takes on a new vigor.

As it was said - all things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purposes. Yes, the tough things too do work together for good. Each is a teacher. Each carries a gift in its hand.

The task is to not sink into ego when such a time presents itself. The task is to take the gift, learn the lesson, refine, improve and emerge a new improved version of you.

Lord, help me to be more conscious and to reduce those 1 offs that bring painful lessons and prickly gifts. Help me attune to You more clearly so that I walk with You more fully.

Friday, May 17, 2013

What About Love?

One of my all time favorite and most helpful books I've read is Eric Fromm's "The Art of Loving." There is one idea from that book that has embedded itself in my memory and in my weighing of love or not love. It is basically that love has at least four qualities that must be present.

Knowledge, care, respect, responsibility - these are the four.

If you say that you love _________, then you want to know. You delve into who this person is, what they believe, what they think, what they like, what they don't like. You are curious about who they are. You want to know how to be in their lives. You want to know them.

If you say that you love _________, then you care about them. You have empathy for them. You lift them when they are down and celebrate with them when they are up. You offer help when needed. You inquire about how they are doing. You care.

If you say that you love _________, then you respect them. The basis of respect is to see. That is, you see them as they are, not as you wish they were or pretend they are. You look clearly without judgment at who this person is. You celebrate their uniqueness. You do not try to change them into someone else. You accept and see them as they are.

If you say that you love _________, then you take responsibility. One of the ways to understand responsibility is to take it to mean that you respond appropriately. You respond appropriately to whatever it is they have going on in their lives.

I urge you to also apply these four to your own relationship with yourself. We have been told to love our neighbors as ourselves. Your knowledge, care, respect, responsibility to yourself need to be active or you cannot really give them to others.

That is just a tiny touching of these ideas. They can be applied to people, activities, events and a broad spectrum of your life. For example, let's say you tell people you love your dog, but you don't know anything about dogs or your dog's breed; you don't care for the dog not making sure that it always has exercise, attention, food and drink; you do not see its nature; and you do not act in a responsible way. It could be said that you do not actually love your dog.

Just look at your life and the people you say you love. Can it be said that you actually do love them? Do the four qualities of love show up consistently in your relationship? Or look at those who say they love you - are these four qualities apparent?

Lots of hurt could be avoided by noticing when love is or is not actually present. Do not take a person's words alone. Put them in the context of actions. So you say you love me, but you do not ___________. Perhaps love is not present. Perhaps this is not a whole relationship. 

You know I have to go to the spiritual too. You say you love God. Do you spend time in prayer and meditation and study getting to know God? Do you care about God and your relationship so that it is on your top 10 list of priorities? Do you see God as God is or do you put God in a convenient box that is more comfortable for you? Do you respond to God's guidance and what is known as appropriate actions to be in relationship? Does your life testify to the point that you love God? What would God say to you about how you love God?

So food for thought. I hope you contemplate this food.

Lord, I lift up my heart and life to You. Lead me to be, think, and feel love here on earth. Help me to be aware of my love or lack of it and help me to shift into love. Help me to be filled with these four qualities in my relationships with You and others.

Thursday, May 9, 2013


In my new book that I'm working on, I suggest that one of the possibilities for the reason the earth is such a mess is that this is an insane asylum for souls who have a couple of screws loose.

I think I'd like to start an Institute for Spiritual Sanity. People, for example, say they follow Jesus and then act the opposite of him. Oh how they love and adore Jesus but hate their fellow humans, at least the ones who do not fully agree with whatever it is they say is the "truth." Jesus taught love, oneness, forgiveness to everyone - including the outsiders or the enemy. But don't you dare disagree with a fundamentalist so-called Christian. They will let you know in very unlike Jesus terms how lost and terrible you are and how if you don't change you are thrown away and they even tell you that God will throw you away into endless fires-- because of course the know what the Infinite will do.

Or they say they follow Jesus and are routinely unkind to the people around them. From family to friends to neighbors to casual interactions, unkindness pops up regularly. Or they gossip and tear people down behind their backs. Or they do actual harm to people with beatings or cruel and violent actions.

Congruence might save the world from itself and bring Jesus' teachings alive. What if people started working more seriously on thinking, acting, responding, and participating as love and doing what he told us would work to bring us into harmony with God. What if people did the work to retrain the run wild ego and tame it into Christ consciousness?

I don't think I can get the Institute up quick enough. Help me. I'm trapped on a planetary insane asylum.

Dear God, You placed me here on this earth for some good reason I am sure. Please help me to stop being side tracked by the strange appearances here. Help me look through the twisted energies and untwist myself. Help me to be congruent and true to who I am in Reality.Today is surely a challenge. In other words, God, HELP ME PLEASE. 

Friday, April 26, 2013

Creativity - A Core of My Path

I suppose it has been obvious for my entire life - but I'm going to say it anyway - my soul NEEDS to create. Creativity is a core part of my path here on earth. It is part of my mission along with learning to love and a couple of other things - that is part of my assignment here on earth.

My mind works in creative ways, so that I am led to do and think new things or put together old things in new ways. It just does it on its own. It is rather automatic.

Last week I was putting together a quiet day based on grace the divine feminine. My mind suddenly saw a diagram, a mind map of grace and I put it in Publisher, printed it out and voila, there it was to hand out. In a few words it showed grace in all of the world religions over time. I had never thought about it before, it just came.

That's just a tiny example. If you know me, you know I make up stuff. I make up recipes. I make up new styles in clothing. I design quilts. I paint. I write lots of things from prayers to blogs to websites to books. When I speak, I speak without notes, from some deep well sort of place. 

In some ways, I do not do any of it. Now that may seem really odd to say, but it is true. I'm not quite sure how to describe it, but I am subject to inspiration. These things come to me. 

When a book idea emerges in my mind, it just pours out of my fingertips into the computer. Often I am watching the screen in amazement over what is being typed before my eyes, through my fingertips. 

If I go a day or two without doing something creative, it is almost painful to me. I HAVE to create. Hence, my belief that it is part of my earthly assignment.

I also think that everyone has some need to create too. Maybe not everyone has as much  need as I do, but nevertheless it is present to some degree in every human. I say that because God is THE Creator, we are made in the image of God, therefore we have some of our Divine Parent's qualities within us. 

If you are feeling bored, out of sorts, upset or some such thing, go create something wonderful. If you say you don't know how, I want to share a couple of secrets.

  • The process is more important than the outcome. Just making up something new is restorative, even if you end up throwing it away.
  • Giving yourself permission to make a mess frees up creativity and vanishes fear, which is the enemy of creativity.
  • The more you spend time creating, the easier, the more flowing, and the more lovely it becomes.
  • The more you create, the happier you will be.
I urge you to go for it!!! 

Oh Divine Creator, help us all open to Your creative energies so that we as citizens of planet earth may bring forth the loveliness to this place that reflects Your Light and Love. Flow Your beauty through us so that Your Beauty is reflected by all we do here. Wash away our fears, our darkness and open us to the glorious flow of creativity direct from You. I am thrilled and ready. Thank You!

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Quilting and Life Continuing

It was a challenging week what with trying to recover from the extreme allergic reaction and still trying to live my life. I'm still shaky and not back to full steam, but I managed to do some of the things that were important to me this week.

We had Jill Schumacher as our quilt teacher guest this month. I took both days of her classes because I wanted to learn how to quilt better. I did learn a lot and am thankful I made it through the two days. But then I was really wiped out.

This week I need to focus on preparations for our annual quiet day. Our theme this year is, "Grace, The Divine Feminine." So far the RSVP list is short. Hope and pray it grows by leaps and bounds this week. We have a fantastic day planned.

Thank You, Lord, for giving me the strength to make it through this week.
I ask to be restored to my full health and energy.
Guide me as I prepare for our quiet day next Saturday.
Inspire all of the presenters.
Bring lots of attendees.
May it be a success at all levels.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Thought I Was A Gonner

What a fascinating week. For part of it, I thought it might be my last on earth. However, it appears the world is stuck with me for a while longer:)

It started with a cough, congestion and a Z Pack of antibiotics. Then on Thursday I had prickles all over my body and was itchy and miserable. On Friday morning when Gilbert awakened me, he said "What is the matter with your eye?!!" I went to the mirror and saw that my right eye was swollen and drooping. Could no longer see my eyelid.

Since I'd had complications from my cataract surgery on that eye, I called the eye doctor. I was told to come right away. At 9 o'clock he was examining my eye. He said my eyeball was fine and it was systemic. He told me to either go to my doctor or emergency.

I called our doctor and was told he was away until Monday, but another doctor was covering for him. They gave me his number and in less than 2 hours I was in his examining room. He told me he thought I had bell's palsy and prescribed a steroid and an anti-viral.

By bedtime the tingling itchiness was gone. Yea! Saturday I felt odd, really odd. At bedtime the right side of my face was swollen, I had difficulty swallowing and there was a column of pain in my head. Gilbert wanted to take me to emergency, but I was hesitant. Then as I lay in bed, I got concerned that I was going to die and he would never forgive himself for not forcing me to go to the hospital. So, we got up and went to the hospital. While there, my cheeks turned raspberry bright red, my blood pressure shot up to 173/100 and I felt worse and worse.

After a CT scan and examination, the ER doctor said no tumor, no stroke, etc. and he was pretty sure it was an extreme allergic reaction. He said to stop the anti-virals as they were making it worse and to add an anti-histamine and Tylenol. He offered me stronger pain pills, but I didn't want them - they make me nauseated and fuzzy headed. At 3:30 in the morning we left and drove home in surprisingly thick fog.

Yesterday I rested and read a lot. I was still shaky. The swelling went down and the pain lessened. I wonder what triggered this event??? The peanut butter candy I'd been sucking on maybe? Mold lingering somewhere left over from the flood we had in December? What?

This afternoon I see our doctor. Maybe he can sort it out. (PS - Saw our doctor and our doctor thinks it was a reaction to either the Z Pack I took for sore throat or to peanut butter. Either way, a new and a very extreme reaction to something that was okay for me in the past. Phoeey!)

During the entire time, I had a dialogue with God. It was interesting. While I didn't particularly want to die, I found I was at peace with the idea too. I was in an observer mode in a truly interesting way. I arrived fully and completely at "Thy Will be done." Peace, complete peace. Yes, the Highest and Best, God's Will in my life accepted with every fiber of my being, so all there could be was peace. And the corner turned, and there is more to do here.

Dear dear God, here I am. Lead me as You would into the rest of this earthly life so that I live as You would have me, doing what You would have me do. Thy Will be done today and forevermore.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Another Year!

Time flies, as "they" say. I can hardly believe that today I now rack up 73 years here on earth in this lifetime.

As Einstein said, all is relative to the reference point.

It was a moment ago that my son and grandchildren were here for Palm Sunday and my 70th birthday. Last Sunday I saw the image of Megan leading the procession with palms and a stab went into my heart. I shall never stop missing them and wondering.

It was forever ago that my loving husband came into my life. In fact, I can scarcely recall life without him.

Yesterday my wonderful daughter and one of my lovely granddaughters came to be with me, bring love, gifts and the gift of shared time. It was a special day for sure.

Today I am making hot cross buns for church and my husband is taking us out for lobster dinner. Life continues, as Evelina says (my soul sister in Russia).

Some of my fundamentalist friends may be shouting at the screen right now in response to my first sentence. Even in the Bible the idea of coming back is spoken of, including when Jesus asks his followers who they think he is and asks about historical guys. I don't know if we come back here or not when we "die," but I do know we go somewhere. I would guess where we goes depends on many things, including how well we did here in learning how to love and in doing good works and being a beneficial presence.

Recently I have become enamored with James the brother of Jesus and his 5 chapters in the Bible. I think these words contain some of the keys to living as we ought. I urge everyone to read and re-read the Book of James, think about the ideas and implement them at once.

Scholarship indicates that James and others at the time were focused on living in a holy way. There is spiritual malnutrition right now on our planet. Imagine what could happen if one by one we turned and focused upon living a holy life.

As year 74 begins, fill me with Your Light, wash away the shadows, and help me lead an ever more holy life. Help me let go of that which is not to be and accept what it is that is of the highest and best.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Holy Week

The week before Easter 2013. It is called "Holy Week" by Catholics, Episcopalians and others. I wonder how holy our week actually is.

The new Pope Francis impresses me. He seems to me to be a holy man, endeavoring to model a more Christlike way to be a Christian. The Dalai Lama seems to me to be a holy man, Buddhist holy man.

The news tells me there are tons of people who are making very unholy choices. Television shows, movies and music testify to less than holiness.

The world of religion seems to me to be often unholy with Muslims killing Jews and Christians and imprisoning those who are of another faith. There are Christians who attack everyone who is not part of their particular wing of Christianity. There are bombings and missiles aiming to murder and maim anyone in the way of a particular path.

The planet seems to have gone mad. 

My mind goes to ponder what can turn it around? Is it even possible for this to be a holy week or day or even hour planet-wide?

What can you and I do to live a holy week? Can we live it one hour at a time to start? Can we become alert to our own thoughts and acts and retrain ourselves to make holy choices? What would it take to move the idea into the visible?

Let's give it a try together.

Lord, on this unholy planet, we rise up and wish to live a holy life. Show us the way. Lift our awareness. Help us choose to think and act in an increasingly holy way. 

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Falling Apart and Falling Together

It has been an interesting time. Seems like maybe things that have been falling apart are either falling together or just fading away.

Our car is beeping at us randomly as some sensor for the airbag is faulty, but would cost a huge amount of money to fix.

My beloved sewing machine stopped being able to read the embroidery module. We decided to get it fixed, but the circuit board needed takes weeks to get from Bernina. And I have some embroidery projects for our quiet day and for my maybe entry in the Hoffman Challenge that cannot wait weeks (the quiet day is April 20).

Pipe leaks created quite a mess, requiring new pipes and a new water heater. My husband's office flooded and his stuff has been all over the house while it dried out. The floor in there has been cold concrete with carpet around the edges as the carpet had to be cut out and thrown away.

Then my embroidery software messed up and wouldn't open, just looped over and over again through tips of how to do it. Frustrating. After 4 re-installs, I finally got it working.

Just a random sample of what it's been like, not to mention the on going drama of missing family members, church, and on and on.

Well, at this very moment our wonderful son-in-law is installing Spanish marble in the office! His company was cleaning out the warehouse and was going to throw it away. He asked for it and they said they didn't care as long as it was gone. It was about 200 sq feet of gorgeous marble.

A dear friend offered to loan me her embroidery machine to do my projects and the embroideries for the quiet day will be done in minutes. What a blessing.

The car is still beeping, but we have hope of a new car in our future. We'll see.

I keep dreaming my son comes to me with love in his heart and eyes. Just a dream I know, but maybe a peek into what is possible.

I just took homemade artisan bread out of the oven. Smells so good in here. I'll make sandwiches soon for everyone. I made a lemon cream cheese pie too. Want to treat our wonderful son-in-law well!!

Just maybe things are falling together - at long last.

Lord, I open my arms to Your work in our lives. Let the dance of life twirl into Divine Order. Let our lives fall together in wondrous ways.Lift the cloud and bring Your Light.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Fearless Life

In the past year a number of people have told me that I am fearless. My fearlessness seems to range from quilting to thinking, according to my observers. I have not thought of myself as fearless, rather committed to being the best I can be and to knowing the truth. My goals for my life that I have stated include: making a positive difference wherever I am, and going as far spiritually as I can in this lifetime. I suppose I am fearless in the quest of these two.

I was thinking about fearlessness in relation to sacred works such as the Bible. Recently there have been a series of shows on television from some people's Biblical point of view, supposedly representative of the scripture.

I have a problem with the shows. I was yelling at the television in just the first one. They added things, such as a conversation with Pharaoh's daughter telling Moses how he entered her family. They did not endeavor to explore any modern scholarship.

There is a group of people that think the Bible is literal in every sense. They deny scholarship, language, idioms, poetic license, editing over the ages and a huge number of other issues.

God is not delicate. We don't have to worry about upsetting Infinite Intelligence. God gave us   a portion of intelligence and so obviously expects us to use it. God wants us to know the truth.

Let's think about idioms for a moment, you know manner of speaking things. I'm in a pickle. Manny died on third base. It took forever to get to work today. If you take those statements literally, you will not understand the conversation. Just explore some of the idioms in the Bible and you will understand it better than if you take idioms literally. So one of the idioms was that pillar of salt meant a person had a stroke or heart attack (they didn't know the difference in the Bronze Age). Lot's wife, being so upset that she disobeyed had a heart attack and died on the spot. To me that is more meaningful than picturing a pillar of sodium chloride.

Jesus taught in parables. Psalms were poetic songs. Some of the stories predate the Bible and are woven from other older cultures. How can it all be literal? Yet it can all be deeply meaningful being what it actually is.

Archaeology and historical work have shown us some interesting things. For example, the Exodus was somewhere in the 1,300 to 1,200 b.c.e. time range. But the account was not written down until the 700's when the people were in Babylonian captivity. The boundaries of Egypt in the Exodus days included much of the Holy Land. The people 500 years later didn't know that and assumed the Egyptian borders were always where they were in the 700's. So if they were in Egypt and went to the Holy Land which was in Egypt, where did they go?

James the brother of Jesus was the person in the 1st century that guided the Jesus Movement. He was the one everyone went to in order to get clarification and direction. Paul was suspect as a Roman insider. Peter waffled. James who knew Jesus his entire life was the person people turned to. 

There is a lot of modern scholarship that is helpful in not destroying the Bible but in understanding it in the way that is more accurate and still deeply meaningful. There are fabulous books, programs. lecturers and magazines, the internet and more that can inform us and actually lead us to deeper faith than the simple, unthinking, silly literal position.

I am fearless in wanting to know the truth. I am fearless in the pursuit of excellence. I am fearless in working to make a difference. Join me. Be fearless with me. 

Perfect Love casts out all fear. Lord, fill me with Your perfect Love, casting out all remnants of fear in me. Lead me to live, hand in hand with You, fearlessly, vibrant, alive and fully engaged in the great spiritual quest upon which I have set my foot.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Pondering Courses of Action

Days come and days go. They add up to years. For me it is quite a few years. I cannot help but be aware that there are way less days ahead of me here on earth than are behind me. I cannot help but ponder the best and highest ways to spend them.

A post of Facebook today said something like, if you're not excited about ___, it's the wrong path. I am not sure that excitement is the key, maybe passionate about would fit better for me. Say I have 20 years left on earth (of course I have no idea of actual time, but just for discussion purposes). Or maybe a week, or a month, or 30 years, whatever it is, it is finite. I will not be here forever. Time is limited here.

The question I pose to myself revolves around ideas of how to spend the finite well and in tune with the Infinite.

If I am engaging in something that is boring, about which I have no passion, is that a waste of my finite resources of time? Or am I there to be of service to others? If I am not there for my own growth and nurturance, how far do I go into service before it gets self-defeating? If I have to grit my teeth to force myself to go to it, that is the opposite of exciting or passionate.

What speaks to my soul?  

  • Genuine spiritual inquiry and the spiritual journey
  • Creativity - writing, sewing, cooking, painting, etc.
  • Family
  • Friends of like mind
  • Beauty
  • Travel
If I could choose, how would I spend my time? I'd be speaking with people who are sincerely seeking God and spiritual understanding. I'd be reading things that enlighten. I'd be challenging myself and others with fearlessly seeking the Truth about all things spiritual from what happened in the 1st century to how God speaks to us today. I would have friends who are not afraid to question and seek and find.

I'd have a gorgeous studio for my arts with all of the toys that support me in the joy of creativity. I'd have a fabulous computer and my books would be selling well. I'd have a chef's kitchen and be able to cook to my heart's content and have the house full of interesting people in fascinating discussions eating my delicious food.

I'd have family running in and out and a vital part of my life. I'd get to create memories with my grandchildren that would nurture them long after I've left the planet.

Many people who are creators and seekers would fill my home frequently and we would have amazing conversations and discoveries. My home would be alive with the electricity of thought and love and truth.

I would be surrounded by beauty in all aspects of my life from my home to my arts to my clothes. Everything would reflect the glory of God.

Travel would be a regular part of my life. I would get to see and experiences the places and people I long to visit. I'd be able to check in with my friends on the other side of the planet and make new friends.

Basically, that would be the perfect last years of my life. 

God, You have brought me to face my dreams. Open the way for them to come into fruition. Lead me to be the person who has such a life. Flow into our lives the prosperity to make parts of it come true. Flow into our lives people who seek fearlessly and think clearly. I turn my final years on earth into Your capable Hands and ask for Your blessing upon my dreams.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Everyone's Family?

A friend put this on Facebook this morning. It made me wonder if that is everyone's family???

I have heard stories of my family members that I don't know personally, but I know enough personally to verify there have been some very tilted people. They may go back to the story of Adam and Eve who crazily disobeyed God and reaped the consequences. What were they thinking? So from the first story of humankind to now, it is a long line of people who disobeyed God and reaped the consequences. They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results :) That is the story of humankind. Perhaps we are all a bit insane.

I know my maternal grandfather had quite a few problems, even though he had achieved a great deal of success. He seems to be the only one in my line that had alcohol problems. Glad that isn't hereditary, at least in my family. He really couldn't cope with the mess he made from marrying a crazy woman and trusting a dishonest business partner. Since he talked himself into not being willing or able to start over, he ended it all when mother was 7 and Aunt Eleanor was a baby. Obviously, I never knew him personally. I did know his crazy wife who tortured me for many years. I knew his two daughters very well and had extensive first hand experienced their tiltedness (mother and my aunt).

During the course of my life, I have had way over my share of certifiable crazy people in my inner circle. I have to say at least it has not been boring, scary at times, but never boring. You might not even believe the true stories I could tell. But I'm not going to tell them here.

Interestingly, most of them had redeeming characteristics in their craziness. My grandmother for example, who I'm certain was paranoid, narcissistic and maybe a borderline personality, and did dastardly things to me (and reportedly to her daughters and others), also had some good moments. Before we moved to California when I was 7, she told me charming stories of a land where ice cream came out of outside faucets, gave me Dinah Shore paper dolls and sang old time songs to me (Dearie do you remember... ) Her relationship with me went way downhill after she came to California after us, I think when I was 8. Lately, especially in the shower, I hear again some of those old songs. Interesting. 

So while I now can see her horrors laid upon me were her craziness, I can still recall a few sweet things and see that there was goodness at the center of her soul. It was shrouded with her craziness, but it did peek through at times. I can see that the "seed of God" was still there.

And with the crazy people carrying on her paranoid, narcissistic behaviors, I strive to remember that "the seed of God" is indeed under it all and strives to be set free and grow and expand and flower. When I get discouraged, I try to remember God is everywhere and therefore there is hope for us all.

Lord, I lift up to You all the craziness in my life and in the life of others. I ask for Your Light to ignite Your seed in each soul and to fan it with Your Grace so it grows and flowers and we each become what You intend for us to be. I have hope for I know You are with us. I ask for this last portion of my life to be lifted out of the craziness, for my loved ones to be lifted, for our world to awaken. All things are possible, for You are here.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Reflect on Love

Here it is, Valentine's Day once again. This day we devote to love - hopefully unconditional love - agape - the love shown by the spiritual lights of all cultures and ages, the love that is our model and goal.

Perhaps today's question might be, how do I aim  my life more fully and accurately so that the love at the center of Christ shines in my life? What adjustments do I need to make in my aim so that my life continually hits the bulls-eye of love?

I recall archery in college, which I became pretty good at actually. I had to make sometimes minute adjustments to send the arrow to the center. Sometimes the string hit my arm, in fact so often it hit that I spent most of a semester with a bruised and technicolor left arm.

My life is rather like that. In my attempt to learn love, my heart has been hit with misfires and metaphysically anyway been bruised. The wounds of misfired love open the soul to be able to love at ever deeper places and in more profound ways.

I come to love now with the understanding that I am to be love because that is what God is and what God calls me to be. I am to love free of conditions, with no guile  simply being a conduit of God's love with no filter attached. I am to love beyond the egoic love often promoted as being romantic. I am to not withdraw my love, for any reason, just as God does not withdraw love from me, but rather mercifully extends me grace. I cannot be a part of the body of Christ unless the walls fall, conditions crumble, and without judgment His Light shines.

Oh Divine Master, show me refinements I need to make in order to fully shine Your Love through the avenue of my life. Teach me to Love as You have Loved me. Let fall from me all that blocks the full Light of Your Love shining here on earth. Open me to simply, quietly, completely walk here softly as Love.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

I Am Home


A friend just sent me this cute cartoon. My first thought was - how cute. But then I thought, how profound. Wherever I am, God is. Wherever I am, I am home. I am home because I am a child of God. I am living in the awareness of God's Presence; in communion with God daily, hourly, in the moment; frequently in prayer (usually silently); living in a body filled with the soul that God created. I am home. When it is time to leave the body fashioned of earth, my eternal soul will be with God in a new form, but will still be home.

Just contemplate that and see what happens inside.

Lord, how glorious it is to finally come to realize that restlessness can depart for I am home. Wherever I am, You are. There is no spot where God is not, takes on a deeper level of understanding today. I rejoice!

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Figuring It Out

Life is just fascinating. It is a changing light show. It is the play of shadows. It is ignorance sprinkled with illumination. It is hope then hope dashed. It is faith then the creep of fear. Is is creativity then come shades of doubt. It is just about anything I can think of.

I am working on my newest book "What On Earth Is Going On?" I think it has the potential of making a difference. It might even be a good seller. I write it in fits and starts because it is filled with new ideas and they come in gushes of inspiration. I'm not conjuring it up. It comes to me.

Where I am at now is in the book of James. Recent scholarship identifies the brother of Jesus as the real leader of the Jesus Movement of the 1st century rather than Paul or Peter. When you think about it, if you were alive back in that day, who would you tend to believe the most? James, Jesus' brother who knew him his entire life and understood him like only a brother can; or Paul who never knew Jesus and was a Roman insider; or Peter who seemed like something of an oaf and didn't seem to understand what was going on, even denied Jesus?

I have read the book of James many times, but not recently until yesterday. When I read those 5 short chapters yesterday it was as if I'd never read them before. I am thrilled that I was led to do so. I am discussing his main thoughts in my new book especially in light of how to get out of the fog that most live in.

I am hoping tons of people will re-read the book of James in the New Testament in the near future. I think it is astounding.

I open myself to divine inspiration, new ideas flowing, James whispering in my ear and answers to some of the dilemmas of human life on earth. Help me to understand and then to help others understand. What on earth IS going on here, Lord?

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Relationship Thoughts

Some have likened aspects of relationship dynamics to a bank account. With every kind word or deed a person makes a deposit in the heart and mind of the other. With every unkindness, intended or perceived, a withdrawal is made. So, the trick, so to speak, is to keep a strong positive balance on accounts with others.

I like this metaphor, and at the same time there are some problems with it. It seems that there are times a minor thing can precipitate a huge withdrawal with some people. Say a person is having a bad week and snaps a bit at someone with whom it is perceived they have a positive balance. Most people will respond with concern for the person having the bad week, offering compassion and allowing a tiny or no withdrawal of positivity. Some however will be some degree of upset from mild to allowing all past deposits to be withdrawn.

There are those who will not tolerate divergent points of view and stomp off and away from those who are not like minded. They take their deposits and leave. I find them fascinating and am not quite certain yet what sets such a mindset.

The question I've been pondering is why the huge difference in withdrawals? What makes some people more compassionate and some more hair trigger types? 

The old saying - all things being equal - comes to mind in that all things are not equal. Some of the variables I am considering are the lifetime (perhaps pre-this lifetime) balance sheets of people. There are some people who have had such a tiny amount of positive deposits that they come to every moment depleted and leery of others. Some seem to deflect positivity, letting it roll off and away. To such a person, even massive kindness may take a long time of repetition to get the balance sheet to move into the positive column. 

Part of the situation is that when we find a depleted person in our lives, we need to guard against allowing the positivity in us to be drained away. When a person is needy, super-sensitive, hair trigger, it is well for our own good to not allow withdrawals from our positivity.

As long as I am able to stay in the awareness that other's reactions are not personal, I can be an observer. From the observer position, it is all very fascinating. From observer I can see patterns, which all people have.

If I fall into resentment, reactivity, judgementalness, etc. then deposits are needlessly withdrawn from me, and I must work to return to my natural state of balance. I realize that it is incumbent upon me to be gatekeeper of my own consciousness.

Ultimately I am responsible for the development of my soul and consciousness while here and will be asked about it when I leave this plane. As my old Zen sensei used to say, WAKE UP! Yes, I must.

Oh Divine One, lead me to indeed wake up in all ways You would have me awaken. Guide me to observe and to refrain from taking the lessons of others personally. Help me to learn the lessons of my own soul and focus upon the consciousness development You have in Mind for me.