Well, almost a week later and still in pain. There was the mesh removal plus they also found a tumor the size of a grapefruit. A bit of recovery each day. I am thankful. Soon it will be a faded memory. I try today to move forward.
I was contemplating a statement by Goethe: "Choose! Choose well! Your choice is brief and yet endless."
The ripples of our choices can last a lifetime. We are constantly being presented with choices, some will have long ramifications, a few will not.
This morning I listened to Joel Osteen speaking about the moments of Grace we can take before we make bad choices. David had a moment he could have let her go and a moment before he killed her husband. Jacob had a moment before he stole Esau's birthright. etc etc etc. Then he went on to say even after making a bad decision, a person can humble him/herself and ask forgiveness.
My heart was drawn to a bad decision by a beloved family member that tore our family apart. In his righteous indignation, totally sure he was right, not listening to the truth, he acted viciously and cruelly, I tried to imagine him humbling himself and asking forgiveness. I know that with God all things are possible. I also suppose I'd faint if he walked humbly back into our lives with forgiveness requests.
I have tried to live my life with as few regrets as possible, being current, truthful, faithful, and helpful as possible. Sometimes I mess up. I hope you will forgive me if I have failed you in any way. It is and was never my intention. I endeavor to live always aware that all I do and say is done in the very Presence of God. Sometimes human emotions rise up and deflect me from this path, and I am sorry and embarrassed that this still happens from time to time. I strive to live aware and awake of God's Presence. I am better, but not there yet. Maybe I cannot get there while on earth, but I will keep trying. Thank you for walking this journey with me. I choose God.
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