It seems that no matter what, we get curves and blows coming at us from time to time in life. Sometimes they come in clusters, sometimes few and far between. The latter is my preference, but it usually doesn't seem to be my choice. Sure there are times that my errors or arrogance set them in motion. There are times, however, they just seem to come without rhyme or reason. Or, perhaps there is something reasonable about them, but I don't see it, or maybe it comes from some time past, some other life. I don't know. I'm not decided about that part. Some experience/effect in my life could originate outside of my memory.
One of the main spiritual ideas about all of this has been about karma/cause and effect/sowing and reaping. I can see that as accurate part of the time. I also think there are general life lessons that come with life on earth. These lessons are learned at various levels, repeated until totally internalized. For example, one such lesson is forgiveness.
I've had a couple of sleepless nights this week dealing with another layer regarding someone I love very deeply. He has hurt me and the rest of our family with cruel and uncaring behavior and ridiculous accusations. He has robbed us of years of joyous memories. After a year of intensive forgiveness work along with grieving (6 years ago), I came to peace with what he did and the ongoing ramifications and released him to God's Care and Keeping. I have prayed almost daily for God's Love and Light to wash away the darkness, the paranoia, the confusion in him. Then this week I learned from what might be called "incredibly credible sources" that he is responsible for the past 3 years of our assets being frozen and the valley we've been walking as we and others work to undo the mess.
To my surprise, forgiveness came easily this time, but there is new grief. Grief has been part of it all, of course, but now has a different focus. My grief is for him and the suffering he has inside that makes him able to behave as he did/does. My grief is for the realization that he can likely never be in my life again unless he is healed. It is not safe for me. I am not as young as I once was, so that the blows upon our hearts are almost too much to bear should they continue. Again, I release him to God's Care and Keeping, but this time without much hope that he will return and be restored. It is a more final release. With the billions of people on earth, I can choose to have in my inner circle the kind, the compassionate, the joyful, the caring good people who live and walk in faith. I acknowledge that God can heal him at any moment, and for some reason has chosen not to do so up until now. It is in God's hands.
The trick to living through such blows is to observe, learn, grow and at the same time do forgiveness work and grieve and pray our way out of the clutches of pain. Then the trick is to redefine its meaning. It is a lesson. It is an exercise to strengthen our spiritual muscles. This too shall pass. How we deal with something is more telling about us than most anything. Our actions speak of our core of being, who we are and who we are becoming.
Who are we on this Christmas Eve? We are spiritual beings having a human experience, and it's all spiritual. In the cradle of our hearts, we can birth the Christ-life and encourage it to grow until we are the shining light Jesus spoke of. The Light deflects the blows. The Light leads us if we so choose.
Have a blessed Christmas. Welcome all of its meaning into the core of your being. Go out and shine your Light.