We were sitting at Costco having a snack (nonfat yogurt sundae). At the table across from us was a young family - parents and 3 small children. Their oldest was a boy, maybe 6 years old. He was sitting there calmly, I don't know what he said quietly or did that was not obvious to an onlooker. Suddenly his mother shouted in a profoundly negative voice, "What's the matter with YOU?" I saw the little chest cave in, shoulders drop and face fall into sadness and fear. His mother just glared at him and his father acted like he didn't hear or understand. Perhaps she said it so often that he no longer took notice, maybe even to him.
Immediately I saw that this child would wrestle with this indictment the rest of his life, or at least until he worked out it. He was now cursed with the "knowledge" that something was significantly wrong with him. He would carry that into all places and relationships until he would finally realize that he was actually okay and God loves him no matter what his earthly mother thinks.
I have had the privilege to work with many people over the years and lead them to find the moment when something negative had begun and had run under the surface of their lives, running them into dark and unhappy places.
It seems to me, we all have chards of broken memories that could use some polishing up, updating and healing. Any negative "tape" we run in our heads leads back to some moment when we believed a lie about ourselves. We then perpetuate that lie, by telling it over and over to ourselves. We alter our behavior, our choices, our hope by the lie.
What broken piece runs under your surface? Something Is wrong with me! I always mess up! I'm stupid! I'm not wanted! I'm not wanted here! What I want doesn't matter! Who am I to want such a wonderful ____! etc etc etc
Let us speak truth to lies.
O glorious God, I need help in order to remember You are always with me, always Love me, and made me in Your Image. I need help to remember that I am unique, one of a kind, made with purpose and care. I need to remember I have a purpose here on earth. Lead me Lord.
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