Just to frame what I'm about to share, since early childhood I have endeavored to walk the Way taught and modeled by Jesus. I became wary of a lot of the theology and speculation of men over the centuries. I have explored many paths, delved into history, tried to create a meaningful way to live my life as taught by the greats, particularly Jesus with some insights from Buddha, Lao Tse, a touch of of the Bagavad Gita, medieval and other mystics, and modern physics (all of which are quite sympatico with Jesus in my opinion). I firmly believe that by doing our best to walk The Way, we live an amazing life. We could have close to utopia should we really walk our lives in The Way.
So I often puzzle over why is Christianity declining, rapidly in recent decades. I hear people say things like: too much hypocrisy; too far fetched; not relevant to modern life; too superstitious; not provable, etc.
I can understand these criticisms. Yes, humans are often hypocritical, maybe glaringly so when claiming to be a Christian and then behaving in an un-Jesus-like manner. Much of developed theology is far fetched, and it turns me off too. I wandered away for a time mostly because of the fantastical teachings. But then I felt a calling to take another look.
I discovered, for example, the word translated "virgin" actually means "young woman." I learned that the virgin birth idea was invented later by men who had no way to know gynecology and who wanted to make Jesus more special than he already was, plus they wanted to bring in goddess worshippers. They kept adding crazy ideas like her hymen wasn't even broken so she remained a virgin. Any woman who has given birth can clear that up right away.
Jesus doesn't need to be weird and out there to be important in our lives, and the one who leads us out of darkness. Yes, he saves me, he saves me from dead end paths and a lot of messes. He teaches me how to live. He doesn't save me from hell. God of Love is not a sadist who wants to torture me. That's ridiculous thinking. Love and torture are mutually exclusive.
If you have given up on Jesus, give him another chance. Don't read theology (mostly made up of mental contortions), read the Gospels. Imagine him speaking to you about how God has inspired him to share spiritual living.