The Dreadful Hole
He had a terrible destiny having to live with a hole right in the very center of his body. He was certain that everywhere he went people were staring at his hole & making all manner of comments not befitting polite society. He never felt comfortable at all, not ever in his whole life, except maybe once or twice when he was very tiny & the hole was not quite so evident.
Nowadays the hole was about a foot in diameter, right in the middle of his body. Without his clothes on, you could see through him like a window. Mostly he kept it covered. There were times when a wind blew up his clothes, or he was at the seashore, or he was taking a bath, or some such thing, that there was no way to hide the hole. The rest of the time, his clothes fluttered tenuously in & out, attesting to the fact that behind them there was a hole.
It was not just that he wanted to look better, but it was also that he wanted to be rid of that awful emptiness, that deep pit feeling created by having a hole. You can imagine that he had tried just about everything to fill his hole. Sometimes he was desperate & sometimes philosophic about it. It depended.
Early in his life, he tried to fill the hole with food. He tasted about every edible thing there was & ate huge quantities of the ones he like best. That was not a good idea because then he blew up like a donut, making the hole totally obvious in his padded condition. It took some time to get rid of the padding. Even so, there are times he still tries to fill the hole with food, even though his experience has taught him that it will not work.
When he was about 10, he decided to try to fill the hole with attention. He became the school clown & was outrageously creative in his behavior. It kept his mind off the hole some, but it did not fill it.
When he was 14, he just knew that the answer was to become a good student & fill the hole with knowledge. He studied ever so hard. His mind filled up & he was able to keep it off the hole most of the time, but the hole was still there, & it felt even worse than it used to. It was always there, just in the background, but there. He was sure the hole was growing & might even overtake him.
The inevitable 19 year old time came, & sex was the obvious answer to the hole. Hormones pointed him to the playful direction of sexual pleasure. He had a wonderful time, but the hole seemed to get bigger & hurt even more. There just didn't seem to be enough sex to fill it.
After trying sports hero, big man on campus, & assorted other roles in college, he decided that success was what would fill the void in his center. He diligently applied himself until he had every symbol of success. He drove the right car, wore the right clothes, vacationed in all of the right places & had a staff of solicitous subordinates. Now there was a fear growing rampantly inside the hole. Not only was the hole there, what if it was always going to be there? What if the hole grew & grew & grew until he disappeared? He noticed that it did indeed seem to be larger with each passing year.
Well, there was one final step. The happiest people seemed to be people with families. He decided it was time to find his mate & create a nest & soon add children. He approached the search with his usual efficiency. Soon he found the beautiful "she." She had all of the qualifications he sought. She was gorgeous in appearance, wore all the right clothes, drove the right car, graduated from the right school & had never been married. They loved the same vacation spots, moved in the same circle of people, & both were tired of the nagging holes in the center of their beings. They silently figured that by hooking together, they would both have their holes automatically filled by the other one.
So, of course, such a momentous occasion as the end of the hole was marked by the biggest ceremony & party anyone could recall. She wore a dress of white stain, smocked with real pearls on the bodice & draped in handmade laces. Her hair was done the THE hairdresser of the in crowd, her makeup by the best team of professionals available, & a manicurist & pedicurist added the finishing touches. The white carpet that led to the altar was strewn with white rose petals. At the end of the carpet stood the handsome "he" dressed in white tails. The in crowd was all there. It was perfect.
When they kissed, they both sighed a big sigh of relief to know the days of the hole in the center were over. They danced & ate & laughed at their party. It was the happiest day of their lives.
They flew off to a tropical island to begin their new life. They swam in blue green waters, drank tall glasses of exotic drinks, & sealed their new life. It was a fairy tale kind of time.
Well, lo & behold, some months down the road of their idyllic bliss, they began to notice a nagging feeling in the pit of their stomachs. Oh no, there were the holes. They had been masked for a time, but they were there all of the time, & now the feelings were back too. The masks were dripping off & running away. A terrible fear gripped them both. At first they blamed each other for not doing what was needed to fill their hole. A sinking feeling of failure swept them way into an ocean of self-recrimination, alternating with blame.
They desperately surveyed their choices. They could divorce. They could have affairs. They could have children. They could try church or therapy or vitamins.
Well, over the years, they tried it all. At best, the holes were masked for a time. They explored church for several years, but it seemed empty. Organized religion had been self-serving & not at all about personal, immediate & real relationship with the Deity, & so it had led them nowhere. Yet, their time in organized religion gave them the hint that somehow the answer was a spiritual answer. Then, finally, many years down the road of life they came face to face with the deep mystery of the cosmos. A light ignited spiritual experiences that transformed them from desperate people trying to fill the awful holes to empowered beings expanding their relationship with the Infinite One, with God. The hole was not a material hole, & so it could not be filled by material things. The hole was a spiritual hole, & could only be filled spiritually. To find the spiritual took them so very long. It was well hidden in the world.
"He" & "She" discovered that people on earth have the common puzzle to solve, a planetary koan if you will. The puzzle involves the spiritual hole & love & the Infinite One. They discovered that each person must go on a quest to personally solve the koan, No one can do it for anyone else, but of course can be of help. The koan is not solved until there is a personal, authentic, deep, & internal knowing. They were so thankful that they were able to share part of the quest together with each other & now with you. They wanted me to encourage you to go forward fearlessly to solve the koan for yourself. The quest is a wondrous adventure with immense rewards.