My Books Available Now on Amazon ebooks

Amazon Kindle books now have some of my books. Please keep checking for more titles as they become available. Thanks!

Monday, March 8, 2021


In my experience, most anger is useless, comes from ego and is a reflection of the angry person more than the object of the anger.

Healing ego issues is no small thing, often taking decades. Once we realize that we are not the center of everything, that others have struggles too, that we are not the judge and jury, that we don't know the full story, that attachments obstruct our lives, that forgiveness and compassion are where the power is, our lives change dramatically. Anger drifts away from our lives in 99% of the cases.

Most people that exhibit frequent, regular anger, try to justify it. "She made me angry, "He deserves it." "Anyone in my shoes would be angry too." "Anger is natural."

None of the justifications are true or close to accurate. If others control you and your emotional state, then you are simply a puppet. Your string gets pulled, and you are angry. You have given the power of your life over to others.

Anyone in your shoes does not get angry. The people at peace with themselves, those with healing egos, those sincerely trying to walk a spiritual path are unlikely to be angry in the same situation, or never. My husband and I have been married 33 years, and I have only seen him angry 4 times, and then it was mostly fear that drove his anger - as in the Brussels Train Station when his briefcase got stolen and it contained papers he needed for an upcoming important meeting. 

In fact, fear is behind most anger outbursts. Afraid you'll look foolish; afraid you cannot control the other person or situation; afraid of loss; afraid you'll look weak; afraid your dreams will never come true, etc. Examine yourself (The unexamined life is not worth living, said Thoreau). The last time you got angry - observe the memory, look behind the anger, of what are you afraid? 

Look at the person or situation that triggered your anger. Did you try to understand them? Did you find out what was going on with them? Did you react rather than respond appropriately? Try to walk in their shoes. Open your heart. Let compassion and kindness lead you.

Also, anger occludes the higher functioning of the brain, keeping you from finding useful and productive solutions to whatever is going on.

As Luke asks - are you living wide-eyed in wonder and belief, filled with light - or are you living squinty-eyed within a musty cellar?


Luke 11:33-36 from The Message translation:            No one lights a lamp, then hides it in a drawer. It’s put on a lampstand so those entering the room have light to see where they’re going. Your eye is a lamp, lighting up your whole body. If you live wide-eyed in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a musty cellar. Keep your eyes open, your lamp burning, so you don’t get musty and murky. Keep your life as well-lighted as your best-lighted room.

No comments:

Post a Comment