Often I think of what Jesus has asked of us. What do I know, or think I know?
I know that when my soul leaves my body, the only thing that I take with me is my consciousness. I saw my husband of long ago leave suddenly from an aneurysm. He left behind all of the things he worked so hard to earn. He also left behind the holes created by him missing important family events due to work & the pains inflicted by his anger. He took with him the scars of anger & rage in the large pockets of unhealed consciousness. It led me to conclude that the most important thing I can do is to live life spiritually & be prepared for my departure by working on myself, on my consciousness.
But how can I do this? As I look back over my life, to be honest, I see a mixed bag, so to speak. I have done many unselfish things. I have served others. I have given much. But, I also have made a huge number of mistakes. It seems to me that the bulk of the worst mistakes have come from the wounds of childhood & early adulthood. By not having a safe haven or safe people to help me work through them, I was thrown into the world to somehow function & work through them by myself. Not knowing what was "normal" behavior, I struggled to find my way.
The saving grace for me came when I was almost 30 & found a new (new to me) kind of church. It was Religious Science, the version of it that saved me, seems no longer to exist by the way. The denomination seemed to have left me & went in a different direction than the one I found in 1969. It is not Christian Science, it is not Scientology, it was not New Age at the time. It grew out of Ralph Waldo Emerson & the American Transcendentalists. It grew alongside the Higher Thought movement in England influenced by their Trine & Troward, touched by Emma Curtis Hopkins, awakened in the Filmores, the Brook Sisters, Emmet Fox, Joel Goldsmith & then Ernest & Fenwicke Holmes who founded Religious Science. Oh there were so many. I cannot possibly mention the thousands of teachers, thinkers & writers in the movement that in general became known as New Thought.
It was often called "Practical Christianity." It was about how to apply Christian principles into one's daily life. It was about discovering how God created things to work & then get in harmony with God's Principles. It was about studying the mystics. It was about embodying Christian principles in one's everyday walk. It was about Oneness. It was wonderful. It was healing me. I was not alone.
I eventually was ordained & served as a senior pastor for many years. However, things shifted. Powers that be decided it was not Christian but more universal. "Everything goes" seemed to be the new motto. It morphed into something other than what I had entered in 1969. In 1994 I left & became independent. I kept searching, wanting to walk more deeply in God.
One of things I have come to believe completely is that we are called to become Christed. The term "Christ" means the anointed one. It may seem like a long way off to be able to be anointed by God & be set free from the shadows of darkness. It is a journey we are all called to make.
Jesus called us brothers & sisters. He told us that the kingdom of God is within. He told us we are the Light of the world. He told us we would do greater things than he did! As we endeavor to lift ourselves out of darkness, confusion & separation feelings, we move ever closer to God's Light. We are all on some part of the path, either walking toward, walking away or sitting down & not moving in the direction of being anointed as God's very own. The Holy Spirit urges us forward, no matter how stubborn we may be (I often say that the Holy Spirit is a terrible nag).
Each day, I look forward to the next step on the path. I ask for God's will & guidance in my life to lead me to waking up spiritually, as fully as is humanly possible. I wish to follow Jesus by being what he called me to be, His sister in God.
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