Upon reading some Meister Eckhart this morning, the thought has struck me that much of my life has been focused on teaching me non-attachment. I am not certain that all of it was intentional on the part of the "teacher" yet I am fairly certain they responded at some level to a general assignment to teach Marlene non-attachment for the benefit of spiritual understanding.
A few words from Eckhart: All God wants of you is for you to let go of yourself and creatures and let God be within you. The smallest creature image that takes shape in you is as big as God. Why? It deprives you of the whole of God. As soon as this image enters you, God with all His Godhead has to exit. But when the image exits, God enters... What harm can it do you to do God the favor of letting God be God in you? Let go of yourself for God's sake, and God will let go of Himself for your sake!. When these two have exited, what is left is one and simple. In this One the Father bears His Son in the innermost source.
Letting go of oneself, it seems to me, is fully non-attachment.
It began in my childhood. My mother cut my pacifier and told me President Roosevelt needed the rubber for the war effort. My precious box of comic books under my bed vanished because I was too old for them, mother insisted. My violin was gone, I was tone deaf she said. On and on it went. The things I loved were whisked away.
Things vanishing continued, but were added to by people vanishing or being banned. I wasn't to be around my father's people. I couldn't sit on my Dad's lap anymore. I couldn't play with her because her mother was divorced. I couldn't go to art school. I desperately tried to create a life that was under my control. But it didn't work. My husband died suddenly. My son turned away. My mother increased her attacks. Things and people were ripped from me.
I developed a sharpness of protection that sometimes lashed out. But, finally I began to see a larger scene, mystical writings spoke to me, and slowly it dawned on me that Paul was correct, "All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purposes." I certainly was called, as anyone who knew me could see. I began to accept that everyone and everything was my teacher. Everyone and every thing came bearing a gift of awakening.
And eventually, I began to see that one of the big life lessons, at least for me, is non-attachment. These things, these people, these moments are not satiating my soul's hunger.My soul hungers for God. These things can either be there or not, either way they are not in charge of my peace of mind.
So here I am with almost everything stripped away. And, I am at peace. Perhaps things and people will be returned. Perhaps not. Perhaps my life is much simplier than I had thought I wanted. I strive to let God be God in me, to listen and follow.