I was deceived, so to speak, by my left brain. I ignored my right brain. I focused on the bits and not the whole, on the logic and not the feelings. Or was it the other way? I focused on the feelings of supposed love, and I let him explain away the details in an intricate web of lies. I seem too close to it all right now for clarity.
That is part of the picture that is emerging as I climb back up out of the rabbit hole or holes. Days of disorientation are not my normal place. I have felt like Alice down the rabbit hole briefly a few times, when earth shattering events occurred, but I quickly got my bearings. In this Gilbert shaped hole, there are holes within holes, drop, then drop some more. I scarcely catch my breath, and another drop hits. I think there can't be more, but then there is more. I pray I've reached the bottom now, and get my bearings and guidance as to how to proceed.
I feel almost like he is being erased from my mind. He is fading. I am being set free. Now I turn to The Presence of All for guidance. What am I being called towards?
Help me recognize Your calling to me. Help me brush aside distractions and stay focused upon You. Show me my remaining purpose for coming to earth, so that I can fulfill it and one day return at peace.
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