This week I didn't write anything here because something in me shattered and had to be reassembled, at least partially. I realize that old patterns need to go to give space for growth. I know old beliefs have to be released for new and larger and more accurate beliefs to enter our lives. I am certain that God is Infinite and therefore can never be fully known, so all beliefs are subject to change. Since I cannot possibly know the Infinite from this finite spot, I have to become comfortable as possible in living in unknowing.
This week, something reared up from the ocean of unknowing into the daylight of knowing. It changed my worldview. It shattered what I thought I knew. It left me bare and shaking. It reminded me of how vulnerable and ignorant I am. How tiny am I in relation to Infinite. Yet, sometimes I forget and get myself comfortable in the cozy thought that all is well and I know enough for now. I don't know enough. I can never know all.
I got metaphysically slapped in the face, stabbed in the heart, shaken to the core. It was sudden. It came up in an instant and changed my life from this point onward. I cannot ever be the same.
As of this writing, I am still shaky. I am in process of praying, listening, contemplating and coming up with a feeble plan to go on into the unknown tomorrows knowing what I now know.
Great Infinite Spirit, I know You are everywhere, always. I open myself to Your Guidance and Wisdom. Show me Your Way through this time and help me deepen my walk with You. As all things work together for good for those who love You, I accept good is now revealing itself through the shards. I am here, and I listen.