I have often talked in sermons, classes and counseling about the need to have a buttonnectomy. That is, if someone can push your buttons - THEY ARE YOUR BUTTONS. So many people are covered in buttons like a snack machine. Push this button and you get anger, this button and rage, this button and love, this button... The button pushers have done you a favor by directing you to the place that could use some Light and Healing. Of course the goal is to have no buttons that someone can push - peace of mind, non-judgementalness, acceptance of self and others, observer of life.
Jesus told us we need to take the log out of our own eye before we try to take the speck out of another's eye.
How do we get to the place that we stop being reactive and can come to peace?
Well, I've found a lot of ways. One of the beginning ones I like is to practice something that is a variant from A Course In Miracles. Take time each day to let our eyes fall randomly on things and people around us and think to ourselves - there is another way to look at _________, there is Another way to look at _______, there IS Another way to look at_______ ... And just silently consider how else can we look at a door knob, mother, a glass of milk, a traffic jam or whatever. What if we've never seen it before, what could it possibly be? This mind-stretching exercise is a marvelous self-teaching technique and a giant leap to mental freedom from living in a box covered with buttons subject to others.
I'll share one other exercise here. In the mall, in the airport, in the grocery store, in church, at home or wherever you are that there are people, silently say to yourself about the people present - I salute the Christ in you. You are my brother/sister because we have the same Divine Parent. I salute the Christ in you. How can we be judgmental and upset with a person like that?
By working with ourselves, gradually, gently, we move into a Light-filled mindset and heartset. And life becomes a different place because we are different. Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.