This morning I was thinking about a new television show that is about time travel and trying to stop a villain from popping in to crucial historical moments and sabotage them. It occurred to me for that to be actually possible, every moment of our lives would need to be still going on. Those horrible moments and those ecstatic moments would be forever actively operating. Perhaps one could view past times, but to interact with them seems to me to be not probable. What confusion if our history kept changing via someone interfering with the events. I know it changes now in the books as new evidence is unearthed or new interpretations are applied. However, to go back and stop one moment of folly, for example, would create all kinds of ripples of unexpected consequences that could change everything.
Yet, at another level, in our minds, our lives and our tapestry of life, all we've experienced is here with us.
I saw jigsaw puzzle pieces that fit together to make a pattern of who I currently am. Some of the pieces are dark shadows and some sparkling light, in a rainbow of dazzling colors. They all have a place. Without any one of them, the puzzle that is my life would have a hole. My puzzle is incomplete, in process and lived at various levels.
There is this earthly life of Marlene that began one day a very long time ago and one day will be complete. One day I will place the final piece of this puzzle and it will be a rap as they say in the movies. There is also the unending journey, the infinite puzzle, which includes this puzzle of this particular life as a tiny piece. There is the eternal soul of me that was before and shall continue to be (think eternal).
So, I see it essential to embrace all the pieces of the Marlene puzzle that are in place and already lived. They contribute to this moment. They can inform me, be a reference, point out consequences, but they cannot be discarded. They are part of this puzzle. I can relax and stop vainly trying to change the past or relive it. It's just there. Now I must turn my face to the puzzle piece of the moment. Which part of the puzzle will this moment fill -- the dark corner of despair or the sunlit center?
Just before I act, before I speak, I can consider if I want this _______ to be in my puzzle or not. My today will soon be my yesterday, my last year, my last decade, as I move forward through the corridors of time and then into the infinite expanses of eternal life beyond earth.
Today I hold in my hand two pieces - fear and love. Which shall I put into the puzzle to be part of who I am forever?