Let me say right in the beginning that I strongly think a sadist God taught in some circles is absurd. Many people, historically and presently, paste upon God the very worst kinds of emotional illness, barbarity, etc. They project wrath, jealousy, cruelity, violence and more - while out of the other side of their mouths they speak of God's love and mercy. They make the Divine an example of multiple personality disorder, and they profess schizoid ways to look at God.
God cannot be both pure love and a sadist who tortures people for eternity. Think about that. No matter what people have taught that, it is ridiculous. Notice the gradual evolvement of the idea of eternal torture in history. It was not taught in Judaism. It was not taught by Jesus. It was added by thinkers who thought too much without common sense.
Think of a human who burns people who don't agree with them, or tortures them for days or weeks or years in their basements, or is pathologically jealous, who is prone to outbursts of extreme anger - and then turns to say they love you. Wouldn't we want them locked up? I suggest we lock up the sick idea of a God who tortures. I suggest we cease believing such absurd ideas about God.
I suggest we look instead to build a relationship with the actual Divine Presence. Fear not.