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Friday, February 19, 2016

Halls of Memory

This morning, as I awoke, I saw a shadowy picture of 3rd grade me, and I heard the haunting violin music of "Red River Valley." I was so very happy, standing in that long ago dining room playing that song. I did not know that the next day I would be grieving because my mother sold my violin and told me I was tone deaf. It was one of hundreds of times she took something from me without discussion or warning and gave me a nonsensical reason.

But what I experienced was more cosmic than the experience itself. I saw that every moment of our lives is alive in the corridor of our journey here on earth and before. It weaves itself into the fabric of our experience. That moment is one of zillions of moments. They are there as part of us. They inform us and show us where we are on our journey.

For example, that memory for me was poignant, shadowy, tender. I felt love for that little girl part of me. If it were sharp edged and painful, it would tell me I have more forgiveness work to do.

I developed a technique to lead a person to the moment they got off course and their negative pattern began, and to help heal it. I used to do it many times for people. As a retired person, it has been a long time since I've counseled and healed as I once did.

Anyway, there are successive moments of who we have ever been, and we can heal the moments that stand shouting and sharp edged. They can be woven into our depth of faith and compassion, once forgiveness and understanding have healed them.

If there is anything I've learned, it is that forgiveness is real, required for spiritual growth, and it is possible. The sharp edged resentment keeps us under the sharp edge, and we apply that sharp edge to others and to current situations. The sharp edges keep us out of communion, deep relationship, oneness with God.  Forgiveness releases all of that. 

I come ready and willing this day to shift my story to forgiveness. Lead me to that place of the forgiven and forgiving.

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