Stuck In The Dark

A person I love very much said a curious thing to me last week. I've been mulling it over. He calls occasionally lately, but I've not seen him for 9ish years, except for one brief afternoon. Last week I told him there is a hole in my heart with him and the children gone from our lives. He said, "well, we just can't agree on what happened in the past."

I've mulled that over quite a bit. I think one of the reasons he has trouble with relationships is that he can't get 100% agreement with his perceptions. I also think that is partly why he is drawn to extreme fundamentalist ideology. He requires agreement, and no debate is allowed in his world.

I can see roots in his dad and grandmother, for they were quite inflexible. But we are each responsible for going into our own darkness and to emerge with wholeness and compassion.  We know there is need to do this when we create pain in ourselves or in others, when we can see we are not living the Christ-like life. There are no excuses in the life of one sincerely on a spiritual path.

I'm pretty sure we do not have to be stuck in darkness, in fact I am actually totally sure of this. From a Christian point of view, we are to love, to shine our lights, to forgive, and to receive the same back, for it is all reciprocal. For example, I am to forgive others, myself and accept forgiveness. No grudges are in forgiveness. The Christian heart is ideally a shining light on a hill. We get to shine by going into our darkness, facing it, letting it go and emerging free of it.

Wherever, whenever we find ourselves stuck, we have a great opportunity to dive in and enter the darkness so that we can arise with more clarity and light. The dark night of the soul is a spiritual gift.

Oh Divine Presence, I enter this day hungering to live more fully awake in You. Lead me through the darkness. Help me release all unlike Christ. Give me honest sight of myself so that I may fearlessly enter into my own darkness so that I can release it and live more as You would have me live. I surrender