From time to time, I find myself musing about time. Not being a physicist, my reflections are amateur and personal.
Sometimes it seems to me to be something like a corridor through which I can only walk in one direction, away from my life's "past." I can turn and look back, viewing an assortment of my experiences. I can reevaluate what I see. I can mourn long gone-by moments. I can celebrate again precious moments. But I cannot go there.
Time seems to be a relative thing. When I was 7, the week before Christmas was so very long. Now it seems like the wink of an eye. I think part of this is because a week relative to 7 years is a larger segment than relative to 80 years.
Time on earth in this dimension appears to have a beginning and an end. We are born and we die, or are born into a new dimension or place or something not conceivable from this viewpoint on earth.
I usually look for patterns when I counsel someone. And, as I look back at my corridor of time, I see patterns too. In my close contacts with others, I see a rather large number of extremely mentally ill people, I would guess far more than the average person experiences. I, fortunately, see only 2 alcoholics. I see amazing spiritual experiences. I see surprising doors open and others close. I see protection and guidance, craziness assaults and terrifying experiences, hope and love - therefore, survival. I see a strong call to creativity, spirituality, and curiosity. I see deep grief, doubt, and overcoming. I see charisma. In other words, I see my unique, varied, incredible life. I see the life that prepared me for this valley through which I've been walking.
As I turn to look to the future, I can see possibilties, but there is as yet no specific form.
I suppose, if I had known what was ahead when I was still young, I might not have had the courage to walk forward. So, looking from here forward, it is probably best to walk in faith. One thing I know from my life, I do not walk alone.
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